love like fools ➙ glee

sixteen ; a house is not a home.

* trigger warning; discussions of an emotionally abusive parent + struggles with weight and self-acceptance. mentions of skipping meals. 

. . . 

Finn seemed horrified.

He hadn't moved fractionally since Carole's admission of I think I'm in love. Neither had Alicia. When she'd agreed to help Finn study for an upcoming Spanish exam, she didn't expect to find out her best friend's mom was hooking up with her other closest friend's dad. It was a little awkward.

Alicia broke the terse silence. "Well, that's great! Young love and all that." Finn and Carole shot her appalled looks. "I mean, love. Love is great. There's a Cinderella song I think really applies--"

"Ali," Finn interrupted tensely. "Ali, we need to go right now."

She glanced longingly into the Hudsons' kitchen, where a tattered black coffee maker sat on the counter. "But Finn, we just got here--"

"My room. We need to go to my room," he corrected. Before she could protest, his hand latched on her wrist, leading her away. 

"Door open!" Carole called. She gave them a knowing look and, in that moment, Alicia wanted nothing more than to move to Canada. There was nothing more embarrassing than the mother of the boy you liked figuring out how you felt before he did.

She stopped abruptly, nearly causing both herself and Finn to bang into his door frame. The boy you like. Never had she thought it in such simple terms before. Carefully, she had shielded herself from dwelling enough on it to accidentally act on it. Not that she was planning on ever acting on it. Her plan was ignoring it until it went away.

Which sounded a lot more logical the first time that came to mind.

Yikes.

"Alicia," Finn whined. She snapped out of it, allowing him to pull her into his room. "I'm gonna die. That's it. This is the end of my life and I'm gonna die in my sophomore year, and I kinda saw it coming, but I thought it would be Quinn killing me. But it's actually just horror."

She rolled her eyes, perching on the edge of his desk. It was her favorite place to sit. It made her feel tall. Somewhat. "Shouldn't you be happy for your mom? I mean, it's been awhile since she's dated anyone, and if this is her second chance at love--"

"Why Kurt's dad?! I mean, seriously. Not that there's anything wrong with Kurt, it's just-- he keeps, like, looking at me in some way and it's making me really nervous. And not, like, good nervous. I'm not gay." 

"Careful," Alicia warned. "Pansexual in the house." 

She'd explained various LGBTQ+ identities once she came out to New Directions. Mr. Schuester had been enthusiastic to let her talk for fifteen minutes before rehearsal that day, and she hadn't wasted a word. It was the most she'd ever spoken in front of a group of people.

Finn plopped on his bed, messily running his hands through his hair. "Ugh! There's nothing wrong with being gay, okay? I'm totally cool with that. But I'm not totally cool with the way he looks at me. It's like Rachel at that first glee rehearsal, but scarier."

"I don't think anything is more frightening than that."

"Kurt asked me about swatches earlier, Alicia. Swatches. I don't even know what those are!"

Sooner or later, Kurt's hopeless infatuation with Finn would explode in all their faces. Alicia resigned herself to this. She hadn't expected that time to come this soon, but this wasn't bad, was it? Once Finn let him down gently, they could all resume being friends. Maybe she could team up with Kurt and they could get over him together.