love letters | soap mactavish ✓

day ?

Santana didn't count the days that passed ever since. Well, in the beginning, she did. But she gave up after two months.

She sent her letter two months ago. And haven't got back any reply back.

Those were the most miserable weeks of her life, but there was nothing she could do at that point. Santana checked her mailbox every day and asked around the post office multiple times but there was nothing. And it broke her heart day by day.

Santana took a day off to feel sorry for herself back at home. There was just something about that day that felt more off than others, and even though she had barely any motivation to go working, she lost it completely that morning. She called in sick, which wasn't even that big of a lie – she got sick in the mornings quite often lately.

And she missed her period. Again.

The first time, she barely registered it. But the second time was alarming. She didn't dare to mention it to Harper, because she knew her friend would freak the fuck out. She freaked out, too. But this time, she was really panicking. She didn't know what to do.

So Santana took herself to buy a pregnancy test, just in case. She doubted she would be pregnant, she was on the pill when they were together with Johnny. But she heard more and more stories that even when you're on the pill, there's a risk that you could get pregnant. It was straight out of a horror story, but she wasn't dumb. The missing period, the morning sickness, the mood swings... They were symptoms.

The girl sat in her bathroom, anxiously waiting for the three pregnancy tests to be done and show some results. She wanted to make sure that the test wasn't showing some false result, so she bought three of them.

While waiting, she practically bit all her nails off and was sure she was on the verge of a panic attack. Those few minutes were the longest minutes of her life. She was tempted to call Harper for moral support, but then she would have to talk about her other symptoms and everything she ignored. But talking about it would make it feel more real. And that was just a disaster in the making.

So she sucked it up and waited alone. She didn't even know where Sucre was, even though her cat would've been a good stress ball right now.

When ten minutes rolled around, she couldn't wait anymore. And she was sure that should be enough time for the tests to be done. She jumped up from her seat, her knees weak and legs wobbly as she hurried towards the counter. She took in a deep breath, looked in the mirror to meet her own gaze, and said:

"You got this. No matter what the results are, you're going to be okay."

She wanted to hear those words. She needed them. But she would rather hear them from Harper or Johnny, or her dad. But nobody was on her side right now. Nobody knew what she was going through. She only had herself.

With a shaky breath, Santana averted her gaze from the mirror and reluctantly looked down. She blinked once, then twice.

All the tests were positive.

Tears started to well in her eyes, her vision going blurry to the point she couldn't even see the damn tests. A sob ripped from her chest, her legs going weaker and forcing her to slump back down on the toilet seat for support. She felt a pit in her stomach, threatening to cause her to throw up again.

Positive. Three positive.

That can't be. It's impossible.

But seemingly it wasn't that impossible. And it broke her heart even more.

In her hopeless and messy state, she reached for her phone to dial the only person that could help her through this. Her cries echoing back from the walls almost drowned out the dialing tone, startling her when Harper finally picked up.