HOLD ME CLOSER (BL/BXB)

Eighteen

I couldn't go home.

I had nowhere to go.

I want to leave the park but there's nothing for me to go. There's nothing I safe place for me to took refuge. Most importantly, I couldn't go to Scott's house. Unless, I wanted this whole thing completely ruin him and dragged my name into some ridiculous place for them to step on.

But I needed to do something. I reconsider my choices, and plans to get myself out of this mess I made. After all, I couldn't blame anyone besides myself. It was me who was hanging out with Scott for a very very long time and was leeching off of him. I would be probably sure that all of things I would do may benefit him and put him away from this chaos I was bringing.

First, it was universally accepted that the one who caused chaos was the one who could fix it. Since I did all of this and brought Scott into this, I must get myself up and tried to fix it. Transfering into another school would be a food option.

Second, I might stay away from Scott with the best of my ability. Maybe I should block him and unfriend him in all social media sites I currently signed in. This was one of the great plan I could do to prevent other people from thinking about what the post said could be true. If I ever stayed beside him, it could drag his name down.

Now, I had to make him stop coming on the front porch of my house. I needed to make him stop from picking me up.

How could I possibly do that?

I don't know.

Avoiding him was not in the set of list I would be doing for the year but now here I was. I had to put it on the set of my to-be-accomplished to survive this year and hope for the malicous post that spread to die down.

I gathered myself up. I had to mask my facade to appear that I was not affected by the post made. i breathed in and hit my chest lightly. I stood and ran back to the campus. The guards welcomed me and greeted me. They were about to stop me for a little bag inspection but they quickly noticed how I don't have any bag on. They let me in. I just gave them a nod.

I quickly found myself in front of a mirror in an empty restroom. Thankfully, this period was where most of the early morning classes were scheduled. I washed my face with my hands. I searched for a cubicle with toilet papers in it. Thankfully, the first one I got in was stocked and untouched. I dried my face with it to help reduce the swelling from crying in the parking lot.

Now, I kinda felt embarrassed by how many people that might have saw me back there sobbing my eyes out over a random post that might become my identity fir the rest of my life. I convinced myself that that was so shallow of me to think a random post could ruin me but it was actually turning my life into chaos.

I scrolled through the feed of the freedom wall page but there was nothing. I scrolled again until the end of last week's post but there wasn't a single thing about me being name dropped in one of those post.

"Where are you?" A notification popped up. It was Sasha and then another. This time, it was Scott.

"Answer now before I call the police and proclaim you as a missing person." Another text message popped and it was Sasha.

"Let's talk." Scott's meesage immediately came after Sasha's.

I quickly opened Sasha's messages and replied to her.

"I am at the restroom near the building."

"Why are you there?"

"It's obvious. I am crying."

"I'm coming. Last 20 minutes."

"Ok."

I came out of the restroom. I waited for her at the bench near the restroom where I told her where I was.

A student passed through me. She was probably freshman high school with her parents. I cut classes in which my mother who was nowhere to be found if she was responsible enough would not like. I couldn't remember her face nor could remember the things I enjoyed doing with her.

I was no one to her. And now that the whole world was trying to test me, I was yearning for a mother to hold on. The girl was luck enough to have both of her parent holding her while I die here thinking of all things that was now dragging me to the ground.

I wished someone was here to protect me.

I lifted both of my legs up and my feet were both stepping on the edge of my seat. I hugged my knees, pulling closer, trying to compress my chest, and squeezed the pain away. I was hoping for it to go away.

I placed my forehead on my knees. I contained myself before tears dropped. I should not be doing this. I should not be crying. I should be strong.

"You're here." A strained familiar voice popped out of nowhere. I could hear his breathing and how he gasped for air

"Is that?" A faint voice of a girl came from my back and the other one silenced her with a shush. I quickly lifted my head up after hearing the girls and looked back at them in which they fastened their pace in cowardice.

"I am looking for you. I looked for you everywhere." He told me. I did not utter a reply and just placed my cheeks on my knees and looked at my side. I had no energy to look onto those eyes or I would end up breaking myself before I ever knew it.

I was electrified the moment his hands landed on the side of my shoes. His breathing seemed to be like fanning against my ears.

"Don't." I told him. I had the courage to look on his eyes but quickly distracted by the sweat beads on his forehead. My hands trembling as I reached out for his wrists to let go.

"Let's talk."

***

You know the drill. Vote, give me a follow and comment something motivational hehe. I just want to be motivated. This is not a statement. I am begging to you all. Anyways, still grateful for the people who supported me with this story. I'll update ASAP. Thank you. Sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes.