HOLD ME CLOSER (BL/BXB)

Nineteen

"Let's talk. Please." He begged. His eyes never left mine as I truggled to keep mine on his.

"Ash." A voice called out. The familiar figure of Sasha waving her hand in the air. She ran towards me, bumping the boy who was sitting in front of me was now standing to meet the owner of the voice.

She just looked at him blankly. No expressions showed on her face but rather a look that asked him about all the things he could possibly done.

He did nothing. I was the one who did something wrong and Scott was the one paying for the price. And I was so hurt to come up with decision of leaving him to clear up the rumors around him and gathered them up all with together with me. I did not want any other people be involved in this situation.

I let my feet fall to the ground and stood up. Sasha was quick enough to grab me by the wrist and pulled me closer to her. He was still looking at the boy whom she thought made all this mess.

It was so evil of me to not admit it that I was the one who did all of this mess and dragged Scott in the chaos. He was not the one who should have been asking me to talk to him. I should be the one who was on his knees and begged for his forgiveness.

It was a mistake I made that I never ever thought of happening. And I should be the one who felt sorry for all of his guilt.

"Let's go." She tried to take me away but we all watched as how Scott's brows knitted and eyes were full of worry as if darkness had took its light.

"Please. Don't take him away from me." He asked Sasha. His eyes darted from me to hers. Hi arm extending and reaching out for my wrist and hold them gently. I could free my arm in just a swing but at some point I was left hostage by his loosened grip. I did not want to leave. I did not want to go away. I wanted to stay and talk but it would be better this time for us to go separate ways to save both of our names.

"Sorry." I whispered under my breath. I just hoped he could hear it. My eyes dropped from his to the hand. I unclasped his fingers and he dropped my hand. I wished he could've fight back to hold it a little longer but he gave up. He gave up just like others. And now that I had no one, I had to rely on myself for now.

"Ash." He sighed. "What have I done?"

Scott did nothing wrong. I was the one doing the wrong things and it's better if we weren't friends.

I drowned in a pit of sadness as to how I just thought of not having Scott as a friend. He was the only one I got. He was the one I knew for so long. The one that saved me from my father, the one I cried to with my problems. He was friend that I could see in every picture of me, the smiles and laughter. I was willing to loose all of that just so he wouldn't get dragged down into this mess.

I turned my back. I knew he was waiting fo me to look back at him. I knew he knew that I couldn't handle him that much that if I ran away, I would keep looking back for him. But I must stayed focused. I might need to keep my eyes at the ground and not on his eyes.

Sasha dragged me out of there and I knew Scott was just waiting behind, staring at me, hoping I would turn back and fix this whole thing.

"I'm sorry. This is the best I can do for both of us." I told myself in the back of my brain enough for no one to hear.

We made a few steps away from him and through the crowdless place we went. I quickly grab the strap of my bag out of Nathan's shoulder and on hus other shoulder was his. He stopped me before I could get a grip of it. He insisted of carrying it and since I didn't want to argue with anyone at the moment, I let him do that.

"Maybe you should go home and take a rest."

"I can't. I already missed a class."

"A day off would not hurt. Take care of yourself."

"I can't." A sigh left out of my mouth.

"Then, stay with us for the rest of the day." Sasha suggested.

I gave them a nod.

It was noon but I could already tell that my body was screaming tiredness at me. The heaviness and the feeling of being restless flowed through me. My flesh calling for a bed. They left me in one of the benches outside the cafeteria were food stalls lined up. They came back with a handful of plastic bags.

"I know you're not okay so have these." I was about to get up to buy mine but Sasha held me down to my seat.

"How much?" I asked, digging for my wallet inside my pocket but there wasn't any so I reached out for my back instead to look for it.

"No need. My treat." Nathan told us. We both gave him a look.

"No, I have to pay. I don't want to be indebted to anyone." I told him. I searched for a few change that I had. My next salry would be in the next five days. I did not know how would I be able to survive with a few bills in my wallet.

"Just buy me a drink after. For now, just eat." He smiled, a faint one but genuine enough to make me smile.

A message popped up in the screen of my phone, making us all look at how it lit up.

"Talk with me after class. I'll go get you."

***
Thank you so much for waiting for the updates and continuing the overflowing support. Like always, you know the drill. Vote, share it with our bl reader friends, give me a follow and a comment to motivate me.