𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙎 - 𝑮𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒙𝒚

Space Pirate 3000

The seven Guardians of the Galaxy all sat in the multiple chairs on their new ship, the Benatar, heading toward their next mission.

"Are we there yet?" Neyzira whined, holding a magazine in her hand.

"Stop complaining, Neyz." Peter scolded, making Neyzira roll her eyes back. "Mantis turn on my playlist,"

Mantis obeyed and Peter's music started to play throughout the ship. He started to sing to the words of the song while Gamora mouthed the words to herself, Neyzira only bopped her head to it.

"Sing it, Drax!" Peter gestured toward him.

"He's asleep, butthole," Neyzira told Peter, which she was right about.

Peter got ready to say something but then sighed. "Gamora, help me out?" He asked, turning to Gamora for her input.

"Neyzira, stop being immature. You're being a bad influence on Groot," Gamora wanted this conversation to be over. Neyzira pushed her hair away from her face and slumped back into her seat, annoyed.

Rocket yawned. "Why are we doing this again?"

"It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying," Gamora replied.

"I get that, but why are we doing it?"

"Because we're awesome." Neyzira said with a smug smirk."

"And 'cause we're nice . . . and plus . . . maybe they'll give us some cheddar cheese for our effort." Peter said, making Neyzira chuckle.

"Which isn't the point," Gamora pointed out to them.

"Which isn't the point," Peter repeated Gamora's words. "But if he doesn't pony up . . ." he trailed off.

"We take his ship," Drax said, fully awake from his slumber.

"Exactly!" Rocket exclaimed.

"B-B-B-B-B-Bingo!" Peter announced in agreement.

"Alright," Neyzira grinned, on board with the plan.

Gamora gave Peter a look, he shook his head to tell her that he was only kidding.

"We are arriving." Mantis announced.

"Alright, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces." Peter informed, which woke Drax up.

Neyzira looked incredibly annoyed at the sound of beeping. She turned to Groot, who held a game of his where the noise came from. "Can you at least lower the volume?"

Groot entirely ignored her, making Peter intervene. "Groot, put that thing away." Groot didn't listen and just continued. "Now. I don't wanna tell you again." Again, he didn't listen. "Groot!"

"I am Groot!" Groot snapped.

The ship broke out into scolding exclamations.

"Woah!"

"Oh!"

"Language!"

"Hey!"

"Oh, my God!"

"You got some acorns on you, kid." Peter told Groot as everyone quieted down.

Everyone gave Neyzira looks, since they were just talking about her being a bad influence. "Yeah, sorry," she sighed. "I'm the one that taught him that word. My bad." Everyone groaned and looked away from her. "Groot, you were so nice four years ago, what happened?!"

"It's ever since he got little sap, he's been a total d-hole." Rocket explained to Neyzira, turning to Groot. "Keep it up, and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!" Groot rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, Peter slowed the ship down as all of them looked out at what could only be described as a massacre. Bits and pieces of what looked like to be a ship were strewn about everywhere and dead bodies were floating all over the place.

Neyzira gasped and placed her hand over her hanging jaw. "What happened?" Mantis asked. Everyone just stared in silence at the destruction, too shocked to say anything.

"Oh, my God." Gamora whispered as bodies continued to float past their view.

"Looks like we're not getting paid." Rocket grumbled. Neyzira shot a look over at him and was about to say something when suddenly a man's body hits the windshield of the ship. "Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!" Rocket screamed after everyone jumped in shock.

The man was in armor and he had an eye patch over his right eye. Suddenly his left eye opened, causing everyone to gasp.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

After Drax and Peter grabbed the man's body and brought him on the ship, they placed him down on the table. He had short blonde hair with a beard, was very well-built, and had many scars. "How the hell is this dude still alive?" Peter asked in shock.

"Steroids." Neyzira murmured in an almost accusatory manner, her arms folded.

"He is not a dude. You're a dude. This . . ." Drax pointed to the unconscious man as Peter furrowed his brows. "This is a man. Handsome, muscular man."

"I'm muscular." Peter said, indignantly.

"Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat." Rocket snapped at him.

"Rocket, quit being so mean!" Neyzira scolded.

"It's true." Drax added with a small nod. "You have gained a little . . ." he motioned to his own chin and stomach to insinuate Peter's.

"What?" Peter turned to Gamora. "Gamora, do you think I'm . . ." she didn't even look at him.

"You're fine, don't worry about it." Neyzira said with her arms folded.

"But did I-?"

"Mantis," Neyzira began before Peter could finish his question, clearly in an effort to not answer. "Is he okay?" She asked, referring to the man on their table.

"He is anxious." Mantis said. "Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt."

"It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel." Drax said.

"Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me." Peter said, still on the weight topic. "Okay. I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells." He told as he placed his hands on his hips

"You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?" Rocket asked, earning a glare from Peter.

Neyzira gasped. "Rocket, stop!" She scolded while Gamora picked up the man's left arm and ran her hand over his muscles. "One more time and I'm putting my gum in your fur- on purpose this time!"

"It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fiber." Gamora said, not noticing the jealous glare Peter was giving her.

"Stop massaging his muscles." He said. She looked up at him and dropped the man's arm down with a loud clank as Peter turned to Mantis. "Wake him up."

Mantis bent herself a little lower and placed her hand on the man's forehead. "Wake-"

Suddenly, the man sat up very fast, jumped off the table, and ran a few feet away from all of them. The team all got fight ready, expecting him to attack. But he stopped, taking a few deep breathes, then turning to face them all. "Who the hell are you guys?"