special green eyes <3 - LN

chapter 39

Lando was hugging his family goodbye while Max and I had a little chat.
''He definitely heard you earlier.'' He says looking over at Lando to check if he isnt eavesdropping.
''Yea i have that feeling too.'' I sigh. ''I fucked up badly.''
''Why? Because you told him how you feel? That's never a bad thing.'' Max says and I smile at him.
"It's all just so complicated." Max nods his head.
"You'll know what to do eventually." He says and I nod my head in response.
Max and I cut off our conversation when we see Lando return to us. He is currently on crutches and the doctor has instructed him to walk as much as possible. So he does. It's going very well. The doctor even said he has never seen such a fast recovery. Lando's routine of course has to do a lot with it. He trains extremely hard everyday and is on a diet during the racing season.
"So I thought we should order in?" Lando asks.
"Are you not tired of us?" I ask laughing.
"Never." He smiles.
"Well what do you want?" Max asks.
"Something very unhealthy." He laughs and I nod my head.
"I'll go get it." I say and grab my coat. I walked over to a local restaurant and ordered some pizza that were heavily covered in cheese.
I hold three hot pizzas in my arms and listen to my playlist while I walk back to the hospital.

"I'm backk-" I say enthusiastically but cut myself off when I see Charles standing in Lando's room with flowers in his arms. I just stand there in shock and too stunned to speak.
"Hey.." he says and walks over to me. I put my hand up telling him to stay in his place.
"What are you doing here?" I ask putting the pizzas down.
"Lando's awake." He simply answers and I think back to what I said.
"So?"
"So I came here to talk. You said I could when Lando was awake.
"Well yeah, but I didn't mean it. I was emotional. I've been all over the place these few days and you coming over here is not gonna make it better." I speak up and look over to Lando. "Do you want him to be here?" I ask him.
"It's okay y/n. We talked." He says and I scoff.
"About what?" I ask Charles.
"I apologised for what happend." Charles answers.
"And what exactly happend, Charles?"
"Y/n honestly it's okay. It was just an accident."(Don't start in the comments😭)
Lando says and I look over at Max in shock.
"Except it wasn't Lando." I say out of frustration. Max shakes his head behind Lando telling me not to speak up about it now. "I can't do this right now." I say and take my own pizza off the table to start eating. I look back at Lando who is of course confused by what I said.
Charles walks up to me with the bouquet of flowers in his hand. He hands them over to me.
"You really think saying you love me over the phone and giving me flowers is gonna fix this?" I laugh.
"She hates roses." Lando whispers a bit too loud in the background.
"Exactly and if you really loved me you would've known that." I say and Charles drops the bouquet on the table.
"What can I do so you will forgive me?" He says sitting down in front of me.
"Admit." I say.
"There's nothing to admit." He says and I roll my eyes.
"It was not an accident, Charles. Your hand movement was way too aggressive for it to be an accident." I say while taking a bite of my pizza.
"Can we do this somewhere private?" He asks after.
"Nah they're allowed to hear." I say and he sighs.
"I am sorry. I love you y/n. Truly."
"I am sorry but I'm not that far and I don't know if I can be in a relationship with you when I know what you're capable of."
"What do you mean "what I am capable of."?"
"You know exactly what I mean. You know why I can't love you. Hell everyone knows why I cant love you. You couldn't handle it so out of jealousy you stirred into him. You're an jealous, self-centred prick, Charles Leclerc!"
"You always knew, didn't you?" He asks and I look up at him with tears in my eyes. "It doesn't matter what he does or how shitty he treats you, you will always choose him." I simply nod my head.
"It's not about that." I say.
"That's what you always say! It's always "it's not about Lando." Or "leave Lando out of it." But it is. It is always about him y/n." He says and I look over at Lando and Max who are watching us fight. I remember what Max said to me and decide to man up and continue our conversation.
"Let's take this outside. It's not healthy for-"
"For who, y/n?! For Lando?"
"O stop being such a child, Charles! He is my best friend and you nearly killed him! I just want him to be alright. So you can keep playing the victim, but I'm not buying it. This is all on you. Now if you want to talk about this we can take it outside or you can leave. Your call."
"There's nothing to talk about anymore. You will never love me. Not as long as he's in your life." He says and he just leaves without saying anything else.
I stand there for what feels like 20 minutes, not knowing what to say.
"Are you okay?" Lando asks.
"Never better." I say and fake smile at him.
"I've had these talks with him many times and if he doesn't believe me, this will not work." I say eating the last slice of my pizza.
"Do you want it to work?" He asks now looking up at me.
"I wanted to. Now I'm not sure what I want." I sigh and clean up the table after finishing my pizza.
"I should go." I say collecting my stuff. "Is someone taking you home tomorrow?" I ask him.
"Max is. You could swap the time of your ticket and fly home with us?" He asks.
"No that's okay. I'll text you later." I smile and walk away to leave.
"I heard what you said, y/n." He says and I turn around acting like I don't know what he's talking about.
"You should call Aaliyah. She would want to know you're awake." I say and I see that same look on his face once again. It's like he's saying "don't be stupid y/n. Don't act like this." But I do. I always act like this. I guess you could call it fear? I wave at them and walk over to the elevator and eventually to my car.