Fragile

16. Sleepover

Two weeks later, the German trip starts to really feel real. Only a week before we leave and I needed to lose at least ten pounds until then.

Fox made me eat nowadays, and I simply was getting worse for refusing the food. I had only lost ten pounds in the last two weeks, which wasn't very good I think. I needed to lose more. I really wanted to be exactly 100 pounds. I know Fox would never accept this, but what you don't know can't hurt you.

Only ten pounds were left from achieving my dream, my sweet new body and everything. Only ten. I had done ten pounds lost a week before, and I could do it now. I needed to. It was dangerous but life is short.

I hadn't fainted nearly at all in the last two weeks, just because I had eaten so much more. Disgustingly more, like a pig.

We were leaving next Monday, so it gave me a week and one day left. This whole Sunday, I decided to stay home and exercise more than ever and eat nothing. I could do this. I needed to do this.

***

Wednesday:

I was doing great, more pounds were leaving my body and I had thought about the whole trip for long.

In the last two weeks, I hadn't spoken to Dahlia, Leo or Abby. Only Lavinia came once to ask what was going on and I told her about our fight. She didn't talk to me since.

I spend recess usually in the library, just like right now. Fox was usually there with me, making sure that I actually ate as I promised.

"The last chapter is left." He mutters, eyeing the biology project that we were already late from returning.

I swallow the salad I'd brought with me, knowing I had to throw it up later. Just until 100. That had to be the stop, even I understood that.

"Is it good?" Fox asks eyeing my salad. He had chicken nuggets for lunch.

"Yeah." I mutter, still in my own thoughts.

"Should we hang out today?" He questions and points at our biology project with his finger.

"Sure. Your parents aren't home, right?" I ask, not intending to sound rude but it came out wrong.

Fox just laughs and answers: "Nope, they're on a business trip so don't worry."

"Great." I mutter feeling embarrassed for what I just asked. But his parents really seemed like, well, not really great. I don't know why but his mom really stressed me out, the energy in her was off. I was anxious the whole dinner we spent together, and Fox looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in that table.

***

"Try to stay awake at least until we get this done please." Fox teases me on our way to his home.

"Of course, but a coke would help with that." I say, praying to god that they had coke zero.

We enter his quiet house, and start working with our biology project right away, this time in their living room. I sit down on the white couch, Fox sitting next to me.

We only had till midnight to finish this, which really stressed me out. A whole chapter left, and I also needed to work out. I felt dizzy, but hoped that Fox wouldn't notice. Otherwise he'd make me eat again. And ten pounds a week isn't easy, it's dangerous I know that but it'll be worth it. I hope.

*

I yawn, three hours of work behind and we weren't even halfway done.

"Don't fall asleep yet." Fox mutters, not minding me much since he concentrated so much for finishing the sentence he was writing.