Fragile

19. Hotel

I end up falling asleep on Fox's shoulder after watching our third movie, right when the day turned into night. I hadn't eaten in a full 30 hours and the tiredness started to bother me so Fox just offered me his shoulder to sleep. Nothing that deep, even though the butterflies in my stomach disagreed.

***

Our plane landed safely, without any complications. Fox had been right, again.

Taxi for our hotel was full of my classmates, but me and Fox got assigned into different ones. It sucked since I didn't know any of these people.

A loud rumble escapes from my stomach as I'm sitting next to a pretty girl in the taxi, making me cringe.

The girl doesn't pay attention to me, she just keeps talking to her friends who were behind our seats. I beg my stomach to shut up, I was already a cringe person and this wouldn't help my reputation.

But my stomach doesn't care about my begs to not rumble out loud, and it lets out a massive sound. The girl next to me stops talking to her friends and turns to face me, her mascara and highlights clearly showing.

"Are you hungry?" She asks, not kindly. Like she's being interrupted.

"Sorry." I mutter embarrassed.

She just rolls her brown eyes and blurts out: "Just eat something." then turning back to her friends.

As if it was that easy. I think to myself. If it was that easy and I wouldn't gain weight like she did, of fucking course I would. My heart felt heavy, all I ever wanted was a fast metabolism, and a skinny frame. I would kill for it.

I would kill to whine about being too skinny and not being able to gain weight. How life would be then, I wouldn't have to worry about dying to my strict diet or constantly count every single calorie that enters my body. They have the body I've craved for the last five months, just to whine about it. All I wanted was to feel pretty and beautiful. Loveable.

I dig out my water bottle from my purse and gulp it down until I feel uncomfortably full. My stomach finally stops rumbling and the rest of the ride goes quickly, me counting my daily calorie intake here. I had to sleep over the breakfast, then do something on lunch so nobody would become suspicious on why I wasn't eating. I didn't have any excuse for dinner, so that was the only thing I had to eat in a day. I could do it.

***

"259, here's the keys." A dull voice says and I take my hotel room keys. I especially requested my own room, so they did an exception for me because they had a few really small rooms that were meant for one. They didn't cost much so I just took the chance. No one wanted me in their bedrooms anyway, so it was better this way.

"You can go with your friends, I don't mind." I say to Fox, just as he's requesting to be in the small room right next to mine.

In fact I did mind, my selfish side didn't want him to abandon me and go with his friends but my toxic side wouldn't get to decide that. I was way too clingy, I knew that myself. But it was hard because he was all I had now.

"No it's fine, I don't want to sleep in a big room. You know." He says and smiles sadly, then I remember his nightmares.

"Oh. Sorry." I say, embarrassed of myself.

"Can I have the room 258?" Fox asks mr. Perry.

"I guess." He sighs looking slightly disappointed. He was probably hoping that I could maybe get some new friends here, but it was useless.

"Thank you." Fox smiles at him and takes his keys. "See, this isn't so bad." He says to me and brandishes the golden keys that had a big 258 number in them.