Fragile

17. Eat

"Well, what do you want to do?" Fox asks after my phone call with mom.

"I have no idea, but I'm definitely not sleepy anymore." I mutter.

"Me neither." He answers and goes to turn on the dim light. "Well, since we aren't probably sleeping anymore we should eat dinner, or breakfast? Whichever is it."

I laugh at that. Part of me wanted to eat, so much that I would never stop eating. I was craving food, any kind of food so much that it was killing me. But the other part wanted to continue my fast and stop the urge.

"I don't usually eat breakfast. Maybe later?" I ask nervously.

"But don't you always say that you already had a big breakfast?" Fox turns to me, eyes suspiciously focused in mine.

"Oh. Yeah, but, well..." I don't know what to say. Shit.

"You promised you ate now, to stop the starving?" He asks and I tense a hurt in his voice.

"I do! I eat. Just not now." I mutter, not really knowing what to say.

"What do you mean not now?" Fox steps closer to me, worry in his eyes.

"I- I just, am on a diet. But only till I reach my goal. I swear, that's the end!" I try to get his worrying eyes to loosen up, but he doesn't budge.

"What? You're on a diet? You swore you'd stop this nonsense Livia, you promised!" He isn't angry, just worried. I can see it in his eyes and the way his chest starts to move faster.

"I did stop it, but now I decided to go a little further." I mutter.

"You'll get yourself killed, this isn't healthy!" Fox's eyes beg me.

"I'm not thin enough." I say without even listening.

"Yes you are! You're perfect, literally gorgeous. I can't understand why you don't see how beautiful you look. Everyone else does. So please just eat, even a bit." He says with sadness in his voice.

"Okay." I whisper, still keen on in his honey like talk. Did he actually think that of me? It made me blush, gorgeous, beautiful.

"Good. Let's go make something." He gives me a half-smile, takes my hand and leads us to the kitchen.

"See, I did eat." I point at the plate that had crumbs on it.

"That's great." He says, and I know it's wrong. My lying. But I only wanted the best for him, so he shouldn't worry about me.

"What are we making?" I ask.

"Well, last time I cooked you a vegetarian meal. Did you like that?" He asks grinning.

"Just shut up. But it was surprisingly good actually." I say, remembering how his mom basically dragged him to make me something vegetarian because I lied to her. My plan on not eating didn't work then.

"Well thank you. Is pasta okay for now? I don't know how to make anything else." He admits and makes me smile.

"Pasta is fine." It's really not, but I didn't want him to worry anymore.

We start making it, pouring penne pasta into a pot with water and adding salt and oil. Then Fox starts to make his sauce, putting loads of cream and cheese in it. I want to cry, I can't eat that, too much calories and fat.

But he makes me eat it, glances up at me every time that I decide to just stop eating and say I'm full. "Please Liv." He says and my people pleaser ass always nods smiling, and eats yet another forkful.

"It's good." I say, having the great urge to throw up. I don't want to live if I can't be beautiful but I have to.

"Glad you like it." Fox smiles, but I can see it in his eyes that he didn't believe me for a hundred percentage. He was still worried.