Fragile

43. Relief

Fox's pov

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There is stuff that is not meant for anyone to know. For example the bottles hiding under one spectacular stone in the castle I just showed Livia an hour ago. I always come here once in a while to drink.

And yes I am aware I might have a problem with drinking, but it's still not enough to stop me from doing it.

She's curled up on my lap, ear against my heartbeats and I've wrapped my arms around her.

"Want another slice of pizza?" I ask quietly, noticing how she's avoiding it again.

Livia keeps quiet for a while, making me worry, "Hey, you should eat you know." I remind her.

Stress and constant worry for months were making me a wreck, and the only solution to me was drinking the pain and suffering away. The good and relaxing feelings only lasted for a night, but with that one night a week I managed to make it through. Tho I'm not sure how long I can keep up. But I have to, for Liv. I have to.

"Alright." Liv finally says quietly and takes the pizza. To be completely honest, I didn't understand what the hard part in eating was. I mean, of course I saw how hard it must be but I never suffered with my weight myself so I guess I can never completely understand. And how can she even remember calories or whatever shit was in food?

I don't understand, and that's why I can't help. Thank goodness the therapy is working for her, since otherwise there'd be no one to fully heal the disorder.

"It gets easier over time." I assure Livia as she eyes the pizza in front of her.

"Yeah." She whispers back and takes a bite. "This tastes even better today."

I smile at that, "Overnight pizza always tastes better."

When she falls quiet, eyeing the pizza again with disgust in her face, I try my best to distract those thoughts of hers, "What's your favourite pizza?"

Livia's eyes snap to mine, my words distracting her bad thoughts. "Hmm. I haven't really eaten pizza a lot lately to choose."

"How about your childhood favourite?" I ask.

She's quiet for a while, thinking about something before answering. "Elijah and I used to always share chicken and pineapple pizza. I guess that's my favourite. Or at least it was. I really haven't eaten that in ages."

"Guess that's our next thing to bake together to try it out. Tho I hate pineapple on pizza." I smile, my distraction clearly working as she takes a few bites of her slice again.

"Well what about your favourite?" Livia asks this time.

I don't hesitate before answering, "Mozzarella and tomato." She takes a bite again.

"Never tasted." She shrugs, making me stunned.

"What? Seriously?" I ask.

"Yeah. Eating isn't like my thing you know." She laughs and I cringe.

"Maybe it'll become. I'll help you with that." I assure her.

"As if I'm ever going to eat without guilt anymore." She lets out a hollow laugh with no spark of joy in it.

"Hey, it's going to get better. I promise." I say.

"Are you sure?" Liv asks, looking deeply into my eyes and wondering.

No, I'm definitely not, "Of course." I lie because if she believes it's true, maybe it will become true.

"Liar." She huffs.