Fragile

29. Bridge

I am exhausted after the first hour of walking. We walk through towns, villages or whatever they are, and endless countrysides. Right now we were passing through a moorland full of frost bit naked trees and fragile plants.

My thoughts get the best of me while we stump on the icy rocky trail. At first they curse Eleanor in all the words my imagination can think of.

When my imagination weakens and no new hate words come to mind anymore, the thoughts roll around food.

Then they roll to the boy next to me and how I still don't know if I should tell him about my growing feelings towards him. My main fear is rejection, I can't imagine how awkward it'd be if he knew about my feelings but couldn't respond to them. He cares about me, that's for a fact, but does he care about me like that?

Then they roll to food again. This morning, a great surprise waited for me when the scale pointed at exactly 100 pounds. The happiness from achieving a goal of many many months should have been the best feeling ever. But to my surprise, it wasn't.

I don't know what I'd expected, that after the number pointed at exactly a hundred, my body was transformed into a Malibu princess? I really don't know. But as I looked in the mirror, my stomach still felt too much. It felt as if it wasn't enough.

But that was stupid. I had promised myself numerous times that I would stop at hundred. I promised. But... it wasn't enough.

"How's your head?" Fox suddenly interrupts my depressive thoughts about losing weight.

It wasn't my head that was bothering me. Just the empty stomach that was killing my head.
"It's better." I mutter. But my surroundings were looking misty due to the starving and I knew that if I didn't rest, my body would give up. "But can we sit for a moment?" I ask, a bit embarrassed.

"Of course." He comes to a halt next to me and begins to look around us for a place.

"Is that too creepy?" I ask pointing at an old and decrepit bridge on our left. At our right was just endless moorlands, and they had been for at least fifteen minutes. Not a single soul had walked past us, and the lands seemed to never end.

"Creepy but it's good enough." Fox says.

I take his hand, drawing my body slightly closer to his. Even if Eleanor did just try to sell me, it wouldn't hurt to listen to her ideas about how to test if Fox could like me. She is a psychopath, but the advice was too good to ignore.

I glance at Fox to see his reaction, and notice a smile appear on his lips. "This is nice." I whisper, feeling bolder than usual.

"Indeed." He says and squeezes my hand.

I feel a blush appear on my face so I quickly turn my head to face the ground.

It takes us a solid ten minutes to fight our way through the bumpy snowy land. We laugh every time the other falls down due to the deceptive snow blanket, and when we finally get to the old bridge we're both soaking wet.

"Look, there's running water." I say surprised from the stream paddling beneath the bridge. It wasn't even frozen and I had already forgotten how lovely sound water could make.

"Spring is finally coming." Fox says, and leads me towards the bridge. I can't help the smile on my face, and the little hope tickling in my silly heart.

Spring was my absolute favourite season of all. It was the season that made hopeful dreams come alive, it was the reminder that summer was close again and nature would finally wake up from its hibernation. Spring was the absolute best.

I follow Fox's hand as we step cautiously toward the middle part of the bridge. However old this was, the beauty of it hadn't faded yet. It was made out of stone, and dominating vines lingered alongside the whole thing. When spring would finally come, I just know that this place will look absolute breathtaking and heavenly.