games operations | jamie drysdale

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Jamie, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" I asked, my voice getting loud.

"I don't want you to say sorry, there's no sorry needed, I just want you to make a decision, damn it!" Jamie yelled back, slamming his fist on the table. He raised his voice first. This was the first yelling argument we'd ever had in the past two and a half years. I knew it was coming, there was no way we were getting through planning a stupid wedding without one. We've had arguments, but they've never escalated like this. I've never seen him this mad, or heard his voice this loud.

"Well I don't know, Jamie. I can't make a decision, because they don't seem right!" I yelled.

"We can find other places! We can look at places in Anaheim or further up north, I don't know what you're expecting to find that's going to be perfect for you if you're going to be a princess about it!" He yelled back. Princess huh?

"Then you pick, it doesn't matter to me anymore. If you have a preference then you choose!"

"Would you just listen to me? Please! I want this to be the perfect day and you're not making that easy, Skyler!" Jamie yelled.

"I am listening! You're not listening to me! I can't make this decision, it's not just up to me! I'd be fine with either of them, I need you to help me here!" I yelled at him. I ran my hands through my hair, stressed out. We've never yelled at each other like this. "This isn't just about me!"

"I know it's not just about you! Your head is so far up your ass that you think that's all this is about? You're being ridiculous and stupid it's not that hard!" Jamie yelled.

"You think I'm stupid?" I asked, my voice now quiet and shaky.

"No, I just think you're being stupid there's a difference, Skyler." Jamie said, now running his hand through his own hair. I don't think he's even realized what he said. I couldn't even respond to him, I was just dumbfounded by what he said. "Are you going to say anything or just ignore me?"

"I'm taking the car. I need to breathe." I said, walking out of the room and downstairs, grabbing the keys off the hook and leaving. As soon as I got into the car I slammed my hands on the top of the steering wheel before even turning the car on. It took a minute but I put the car in reverse and drove away. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to be away from him for a little bit. I pulled into a carpool parking lot and sat there for a minute, the music playing loudly. I screamed. At the top of my lungs I just screamed as loud as I could. Banging my fists against the steering wheel again. I get it, I know I'm not the smartest person in the world, I failed math once in high school, and english twice. It was a shock to everyone that I graduated. But that wasn't something I needed to hear from the person I loved the most in the world. The person I would do anything for and couldn't imagine saying anything like that towards. I picked up my phone to see if Jamie had texted me or anything, and there was nothing. I mean, I wasn't gone for that long so that's not all that surprising. I went onto Spotify and put on my playlist called 'fully dressed in the bathtub' which was just comprised of the saddest songs known to man.

I put the car back in drive and just started going, I didn't know where I was going but I just couldn't stop driving. I know I shouldn't have left, we should've just talked it out and I should've stayed, but after he said that I couldn't be there. The music stopped and the screen on the dash lit up with Jamie's name. I didn't answer or decline the call, just let it ring out to voicemail. It took a couple minutes but he called back and again, I just let it ring to voicemail. He called a couple more times, 5 times total, before I think he gave up. There were a couple texts that came in too but I didn't look at them either. I then got a call from Emerson, who I did answer even though I knew Jamie must have called her to see if she could get a response from me.