Invisibly Masked

Chapter 29: Part 1

   I stared down at my phone in pain, feeling tears prick at my eyes. I made a strangled sob but bit my lip, trying to keep myself together.

Dying. Holly was.... Dying.

I had to tell Jessie.

I turned my head and looked through the window on the door, seeing Jessie sitting and laughing and smiling. I felt another sob catch in my throat. Oh god... I have to ruin everything, don't I?

I couldn't very well tell him hear, not right now at the pep rally. That was inconsiderate. And uncalled for. I'd have to tell him after school, with no one around. Man, I sound like a serial killer.

"I might as well be..." I said to myself. I shoved my phone in my pocket and inhaled deeply, trying to put a mask over all this. Except, I was positive he'd see right through this one.

I opened the door and was bombarded with sounds. Of cheering and whistling, just as Cat walked off stage. I kept my head down and as I reached my seat, I plopped, wincing a bit.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard him lean over and say. I nodded, swallowing the pain and looking up at him. Once I did, the expression on his face and the look in his eyes said it all. He knew there was something wrong.

"I-I'll tell you after school, m'kay?" I said, pulling my lips into my mouth. He nodded and I felt his hand on my back. I held my breath, feeling the urge to vomit.

This was going to kill both of us.

**************

I held the strap to my bag in my hands, wringing it together as I waiting by my locker. My stomach was in knots. I wanted to scream, to cry. I didn't want to do this. I couldn't. I couldn't shake his mothers words out of my head, the sound of her broke voice echoing in my brain. On loop, like some sort of sick recording.

I wondered if anyone else could see the cloud hanging over me, or if they were too busy with their own lives to notice. Who am I kidding, their all too busy in general to even acknowledge my existence, let alone what I'm going through. They all passed by me as they left, talking loudly about the weekend and their plans.

"Arissa," I heard someone call my name and I looked up, seeing Jessie waving at me from down the hall. I tensed, a flash of Holly's face emerging every time I blinked. Oh my goodness, I think I'm going to puke.

"Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked once he got closer. I stared at him for a second, taking him in, thinking. He had that normal, happy gleam in his eyes. Like a flame. And I had to snuff it out. Jessie waved a hand in my face. I grabbed it and dragged him in the opposite direction of everyone else. I knew where I was going, but basically kept my eyes to the floor.

I pushed open a stairwell door and pulled him in, shuffling on my feet as the last few people left the building.

"Rissa, what's the big hurry? Tell me what's wrong," he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I finally looked up at him, and once I saw his face I felt tears trying to break through the barrier.

"Jessie... Um... Oh, god I don't want to do this," I said, turning away from him and holding my hand to my mouth. No, I had to. He deserves to know. 

He deserves to know a lot of things.

"Arissa," he said, and I felt him touch my back. I jerked away, feeling guilty for having this information for so long and not speaking a word of it. I turned to him, hands clenched by my sides.