Broken and Bruised (One Direction Fan Fic)

The Past and FlashBacks.

"YO BITCH!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUTTA BED!!!!!" My horrid step brother screams at me, disturbing my peaceful sleep. Breathing in and out deeply, I stumble out of bed and into the small bathroom. A used brush runs through my bland, knotty hair. A small length of toothpaste is squeezed onto my bright blue toothbrush and I wash away my morning breath and any other smelly things.

Applying a minimal amount of eye liner and mascara, my frightened blue eyes stare back at me. Exiting the bathroom, I slide open my closet door. Picking out a long sleeved black shirt and black jeans, I pull them both on and my black All Stars accent my 'outfit'. As I am tying up the last lace, heavy footsteps stomp into my room. That can only mean one thing; Jack. 

"How long does it take Emo? Hurry up!!" He yells in my face. Flinching back at his harsh words, he just chuckles smugly. Dick.

Why do I remember this part of my past so.... Well?? So strongly??

As I finally arrive at school, the same people in the same groups are together. Huddled in tight circles; whispering and gossiping.  

Sticking to the back entrance of school, I sneak in and prepare for the new day. A new day of bullying and insults. A new day of.. Everything.

The Jocks or Douche Bags, are stumbling down the hall, laughing loudly and joking around. Josh is shoved into me, so I stumble and whack my head on the hard metal locker doors. Great. 

"Ewww Ryan I got cooties.!!" Josh whines to Ryan. The quarterback or the 'head' jock. 

"Hahaha shame!!" Ryan laughs, not giving two shits about his team mate and friend. Josh glares at the back of his head and nothing else is said. Beck, Caleb, Zac, Hayden, Robbie, Taylor and a few other douche bags join Ryan and Josh who laugh at me. They stop laughing and go back to their 'group'. They begin play fighting and start to shove again. Mark.. I think, is pushed against me. 

"Watch it Bitch." He says, seething. Woah, somebody shit the bed this morning.  

Mumbling a sorry, I push away from the group of immature boys and head to my first period class. Art.  

Luckily I actually like art and I like most of the people in my class.

Climbing onto my seat, I pull out my text book and sketching pencil. Looking out the window, a robin is perched in a blossom tree. Focusing my eyes on the bird and tree, I begin the delicate outline for my portrait. 

As the period comes to an end, my tree is finished and the bird is as well. I just need to add some delicate colours.

Why? Why. Do I remember this day so fiercely?? Why?? The same, reworded, unanswered questions circles my head. The stars are shining brightly though. They blink up in the black blanket. The moon stares back at me as I stare back at it. How come when ever I scream for help; nobody hears. But when someone else sings for help, they get it.

The day continues as normal. Me staying as far away from the judgemental cliques. Me staying away from everybody. 

Curling up on the field, under an oak tree, a presence has joined me. 

Looking up from beneath my eyelashes, a boy with long dark, straightened hair and bright green eyes looks down at me, concerned. Pfft What ever. Nobody ever cares about me. Well except for my dad but he left so that doesn't really count. 

"Hi Luci," he says nervously. Why would anyone be nervous around me?! I'm not that scary am I? 

"Hi Gabriel." I say shyly. He doesn't say anything, just looking at me. What happens next though surprises me completely.  

He sat down next to me. 

"I heard about what happened today in the halls." Gabriel says quietly. 

"Eh it was nothing. Nothing to what I'm used to." I reply in a monotone voice. 

"We'll it needs to stop. You can't keep going through the same routine everyday. You can't keep putting up with this. Luci, you need to do something about it." Gabriel says firmly. 

"You don't think I've tried!? You don't think I've tried to get them to stop!? You don't think I've tried to end it!? You don't think I've tried to put it behind me and be the bigger person!? You don't think I've tried to tell them no!? You don't think I've tried to just block it out!? You don't think I've just let it slip!? You don't think I've given up!? Well here's a news flash for you Gabriel, I have tried! I have asked them to stop! I have tried to put it behind me or block it out! But do you know how fucking hard it is!? How hard it is to act like it doesn't hurt, doesn't sting? How hard it is to just let it slip, to just ignore it!? Well I can't!! I can't do it anymore!! I can't!!" I scream, angry tears streaming down my face. Standing up with my bag in hand, I stretch my legs out by running away from Gabriel. He is the only person who will talk to me. Was more likely now.

Tears continue to stream down my face as I leave the school grounds and run for home. Where the blade could take away the pain. Where I could end my life so quickly and easily.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• 

I understand now. I understand why I remember this day so strongly. It's because that day was the third day I tried to end my life. I know, how could I be so selfish but honestly I don't think anyone would care. I think the reason behind each motive for my attempted suicide is feeling alone, like nobody can help me. Like nobody cares. Like nobody loves me, likes me. Each attempt was stopped though; by Gabriel. He always found me at the park, knife at the ready. He would throw it away and comfort me. He was my friend until the day I ran away.  

I remember one night when I was living with my Aunty, we were watching the news and a report came up about how a teenage boy committed suicide at a park. 

The same park I always went to. I cried for days when I found out. He was my only friend. That was when I attempted again. I was so close to dying but then my Aunty found me, lying in the floor with blood all over my torso. She took me to the hospital and they stitched me up. News spread like wildfire after that incident. Everyone looked at me differently. Everyone kept their distance. Even my own Aunt. So three weeks after being ignored and bullied, I ran away again. I ran away to London. That's how I got here. From Manchester to Oxford to London to Cambridge. My journey has been pretty rough so far. Hell rough doesn't even cover it but I know if I could redo my life, start all over; I would do it any day.