Broken and Bruised (One Direction Fan Fic)

Not Your Fault

~Jordan~

With each passing day my dangerous reminders of inflicted self harm, grow more and more pale.

After my 'talks' with Harry and Liam, no one visited me which I'm kind of glad about because it gave me time to think and collect my thoughts on the current situation.

A flirty smile and lustful eyes belong to a creepy man nurse, person who kept visiting me during the day.

When I was discharged to say I was surprised to see the boys was an understatement. I mean why hang around? Why wait for me, an ordinary scarred girl?

Depressed and suicidal, that's who I am. But the fact that these kind, generous boys are still around, puts hope in my cold heart. My broken heart.

I don't think Harry has fully accepted my apology. He avoids my eyes and so does Louis.

Yes they took me in and I stay in a separate hotel room to One Direction. I'm not exactly touring with them, I'm just living with them, temporarily. They leave me alone, which to be honest, I think is the best thing for me at the moment. I just don't feel comfortable around them. I don't feel.... safe or secure. I feel scared, frightened and anxious. I feel like I'm waiting for something drastic to happen but it's like nothing actually does.

With each passing moment, screaming girls, security, and paparazzi gather at the base of the hotel. Annoying the hell out of people trying to get in and out of the entrance.

Directioners are so rude. They post such mean things on Twitter and expect all those 'tweets' or comments to not be noticed. I mean I see them everyday that I'm on. They put down other fandoms and the put down celebrities that they don't idolise. Like I said rude.

They probably don't realise it but they actually hurt so many people world wide. I mean just because of the way I am, doesn't give someone the right to go talk shit about me.

There is so many accusations about Harry being stabbed. They're talking about how whoever stabbed him is going to rot in hell. I mean I've sinned so much I'm already on the road to hell.

But what catches me off guard is good trends that are world wide.

#StayStrongHarry

#WeLoveYouHarry

#GetBetterSoonHaz

Woah okay not all fans or 'Directioners' are rude. I mean its been a good week or so since the stabbing. And they're still going on about it. I mean it was such a terrible accident and I feel so much remorse but I feel like I've moved on a little bit.

Sorry @Harry_Styles. #GetBetterSoon

I know I'll regret this tweet but to hell with it!! Hovering the mouse over the blue button, I apply pressure to the mousepad and the tweet is sent.

Going to my settings, I deactivate my Twitter Account knowing the amount of hate towards me will increase as people begin to realise what my tweet means. My mentions will skyrocket and no one will know that I have left Twitter. I mean I won't be gone forever but just until everything dies down about.. well about everything.

*•*

Screams echo through the walls as the increasing number of fans gather at the entrance. How I would love to be at a nice quite park right now.

Shutting down my laptop, I place it further into the middle of the table and walk towards the window. Pulling the curtain back ajar, a glimpse of so many people begin to overwhelm me. The floor looks closer to me, the ground is shaking beneath my feet and my body is shaking like a leaf. My head is pounding and stars form over my eyes. Coming into contact with the floor, my breathing increases and a rolling feeling shoots into my stomach.