Love Me At My Worst (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Chapter 8. An Escalation

Okay for starters PLEASE FORGIVE MY ABSENCE. I blame my job. Tanning season just began and I have been working like crazy at the salon. Here's another chapter and I promise I will start updating on a regular basis again.

You knocked silently on the large door to enter Kylo's quarters. Usually it would slide open automatically at your presence, but today it stayed still. It loomed in front of you as if it was a giant sign warning you to stay away.

"Kylo? Are you home?"

Silence.

"I brought some pastries? Can we hang out?"

The silence from behind the door was louder than actual noise and it made you uncomfortable to be around. You shifted your weight between your legs and knock lightly on the door again. No answer came and you sighed.

"If you're in there, I'm leaving. Sorry for disturbing you."

You gently sat down the plate of pastries you had Brock make earlier, and turned to leave.

At least maybe he will get those pastries

You only made it a few steps when you heard the door slide open behind you. Spinning on your heels quickly you faced the door and crouched down to retrieve your plate. You entered his room hesitantly, much like your first visit to it. The lights were dimmed and you placed the plate on the table in the kitchen and walked through to the bedroom. You squinted and could make out Kylo's hunched over figure sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Hey." You walked over and sat down next to him. His black curls hung in his face and concealed his expression from you. "What was today about?" You asked. Against your better judgement you placed a hand on his thigh for comfort. He gave no response and you sighed. "I'm sorry for uh, hugging you. It just seemed like it would work and I didn't know what else to do so-"

"Don't apologize." He mumbled under his breath. "It. Helped..." You gave him a smile, which he saw out of the corner of his eye.

"What started the, uh, smashing things?" You asked and he let out a gust of air.

"The resistance has built an even bigger base on a class 5 planet. Their defenses are too strong for us to attack at the moment." His fists were clenched at his sides and his face was red. You cocked your head to the side in confusion.

"Well why should that upset you? You're Kylo Ren! The resistance is nothing against you." His mouth broke into a subtle grin.

"You have too much faith in me." He said. "The resistance is the biggest threat against the First Order." You shrugged.

"And you are the biggest threat against the resistance." You said calmly. His hand slipped down and caught yours that was resting on his thigh. He gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you." He said quietly. He stared at the floor in front of him and for the hundredth time you wished you could know what he was thinking. Whenever you were around him you felt like you were naked. He could see everything in your mind but all you could do was try and infer from his expressions.

"No problem." You said with a smile. He released your hand and for a split second you decided to stand up. As soon as the thought appeared in your head Kylo's hands were on you. One wrapped around your back and supported you as the other held your face in place. His lips pressed against yours and you let out a quick squeak of surprise. You immediately melted into the kiss. His lips were soft and as were his hands. He smelt like freshly baked bread with a tinge of burnt metal. You let out an involuntary moan as his tongue ran along your bottom lip. Then, as fast as he had jumped you, he retreated to his previous position. You felt dazed and blurry, as if you had a headache without the pain. "Whoa." You said and a hand went up to your temples. He gave you a quick smirk.

"Speechless?" He murmured. His dark hair framed his pale skin against the dimly lit room. You could still make out his slightly puckered lips, swollen from their kissing.

"Don't be cocky." You teased and his hand moved to hold yours.

"(Y/N), I enjoy your presence. You have this... calming affect over me." He said while staring into your eyes.

Is he saying he likes me?

He chuckled and moved closer to you so your faces were only inches apart.

"I'm saying I'd like to kiss you again if that's alright with you." You could feel his breath on you and you quickly nodded.

"That's alright with me."