Love Me At My Worst (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Chapter 14. The Wedding is Probably Cancelled

Okay please don't hurt me I know it's been forever. I've been having a really hard time writing recently. I'm not sure what it is but I can't find the energy to just sit down and write like I used to. Updates are going to be slower. But I promise I'm not giving up. Tonight I seem to have found a wind, so I'm going to write as much of all the stories as I can. I'm really sorry guys I hope you enjoy this update.

You were moving through the frightened crew members as quickly as you could manage. You pushed aside screaming Officers and yelling as you did so.

"Where's Saw?!" You held back your terrified tears and threw yourself at the door to your room. Crashes and shooting could be heard from lower in the ship and you ignored them. With a frustrated scream you slammed back into the crowded hallway.

"Officer (Y/N)!" A fellow worker yelled at you. "We have to evacuate!" He yelled after you as you ran in the opposite direction of the screaming people.

"Not without Saw!" You screamed back. You threw yourself into a side hallway that was empty and you almost pulled the hair out of your head in anguish.

*Just an hour previously*

"Im going to take a nap. I feel a bit sick." Saw said patting her stomach. "Must've been the food tasting for the banquet." You nodded.

"I told you not to eat so much." You said with the hint of a laugh. She left the dining hall and you looked back down at your holopad. You had a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach but now you were thinking you might just be ill like Saw. Nonetheless you checked the readings on nearby areas of the ship quickly. It all seemed in order and you sat your holopad down. You picked up the rest of your stuff as you stood up to leave, when a rumble under your feet stopped you. The whole floor looked up in shock. Gasps echoed through the tables as another tremor hit. Your hands were shaking and your heart was racing. You grabbed your holopad and quickly scanned the area.

Resistance ships. Everywhere.

The entire ship was surrounded and being attacked. Your mind raced as you processed what was happening.

How did they get here without appearing on the scanner?!

Panic ensued as a larger tremor hit and people screamed. They immediately began rushing out of the dining hall. You grabbed your things and ran out the side door toward Saw's room. You needed to find her. You threw open the door and whirled your head in each direction.

It was empty.

*Present*

You scrambled to your feet after being pushed into a wall. Your arms were sore and you felt faint. You could see the door to the control room coming closer and closer. You grabbed the side of the door and swung yourself inside.

Your heart stopped.

"Saw!!" You screamed and dove to the floor turning her over. Her eyes were barely open and you gasped. A hole just above her heart was oozing blood.

"(Y/N) I've been shot." You wiped blood off your hands.

"I can see that!!" You immediately took off your over shirt and balled it up. You pressed it against her wound. "How the hell did you get shot?!" She smiled weakly. Fear was present in her eyes as she clutched her side. She maintained her signature smile however.

"Resistance spies. They all activated at once. I managed to crawl back in here after one shot me" Your jaw dropped and you tried to put pressure against her wound. Her breathing was slowed and from what you could tell her heart rate was not where it should be.

"Oh god Saw, stay with me okay? I'll get help!" You stood up quickly and ran to the door. You gave her one final look taking in all of her features. She gave you a weak smile and nodded.

"Don't forget about me." She chuckled nervously. You sprinted down the hallway, looking back and forth around each turn. The halls were completely empty, with no sign of First Order personnel in sight. The alarms were blaring at a deafening volume and you could feel a headache coming on. You ran into the medbay searching for someone, anyone who could help. You looked at the same two beds that you and Saw had occupied together when you ended up there after Kylo's attack. You reached a cabinet full of bandages and grabbed as much first aid supplies as you could before setting off in the direction of the control room. As you turned the corner hands grabbed your hips and pulled you down.

"(Y/N) We have to go!" You screamed before you realized it was Kylo holding you. "The while ship is about to implode!" Your eyes widened.

"We have to go back! Saw is back there!" You screamed back at him. His eyes were filled with fear and disbelief.

"We only have a few seconds! I'm sure she will make it out!" He grabbed your arm and tugged, being met with resistance on your end.

"No she won't get out! She's been shot! I have to go get her Kylo!" You tried in vain to rip your hand out of his. He groaned in agony as he looked back and forth between the exit and the direction of the control room.

"(Y/N) we can't risk it! I'm sorry!" Your eyes filled with tears. "We've already wasted too much time!" He grabbed you by the waist and flung you over his shoulders. You screamed bloody murder.

"NO! TAKE ME BACK!! NO! SAWWW!" You screamed and cried as Kylo flew through the hallway and towards an escape pod. "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!"

He set you down gingerly inside the pod and slammed the door lock. The escape pod began to shoot off into space. You watched as the base grew smaller until bursting into a thousand fiery pieces. The explosion lit up your face and your crying stopped as you watched the destruction. You turned to see Kylo's face, dark and ashamed. He met your eyes with fear and sorrow. The dark brown pools brimming with tears you knew would never fall. You wished you could call him heartless but it was obvious his decision had affected him too.

"Ill never forgive you for this." You whispered looking down at the ship floor. Your hands were balled up into fists.

"I know." He whispered back. His face not looking at you. "Im sorry." He said weakly. Hot, angry tears began to fall again.

"Sorry doesn't save Saw's life." You growled.

"I had to get you out. There wasn't time. You saw it, we just barely got out." You shook your head.

"We could've made time!" You snapped. "How am I supposed to live knowing we just left my best friend lying on the floor bleeding! Better yet, how am I supposed to tell Hux?!" His hands moved to cover up his face.

"I'm sorry (Y/N), I'm so sorry." You snapped your head to look out the window and maintaining silence for the rest of the ride.