Love Me At My Worst (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Chapter 20. Lonely Soul no more

Starting to pick up on these updates guys! 😃 I try and provide for my sinful children.

Training was rougher than you had anticipated. Captain Phasma worked all of the new recruits with no mercy. Seeing as most of you had been former Officers with no field experience, she had her work cut out for her.

Even with the weeks worth of battle training and commands, you still didn't feel prepared for a fight. You hoped it wouldn't come to that and that your plan would work out. With a sigh you headed to your secret room where Kylo was waiting. Tomorrow was the battle, and hopefully, the day you'd both escape. He'd sent a message to your holopad earlier telling you to meet him there. You were curious since it was usually you who told him to meet there.

Kylo's face lit up as you entered the room. Your jaw dropped in surprise as you looked across the room.

Kylo was sitting on top one of several blankets that were spread across the floor. He must've stolen a few extras. Rations sat on a plate near him and several candles were scattered around. The harsh florescent lights in the room had been turned off. The candles gave off a warm orange glow. The window behind him was unshielded and the night sky was visible.

"Ky- what? What is this?" You sat your bag on the floor and sat down on the blankets across from him. He was wearing a dark undershirt and trousers, his over clothes had been discarded.

"Do you like it?" He asked shyly, his hand rubbing behind his neck awkwardly. You smiled at how simple but nice the setup was. He'd obviously tried really hard to make the cold, hard room look soft and inviting.

"Its great, but why?" You asked with a laugh. He handed you the plate of food.

"With everything horrible happening lately, I wanted to see you smile." His hand traced over your exposed thigh.

"I do smile." You defended taking a bite of the rations. He shrugged.

"Not recently. You just give me a "holding it together" smile. Not a genuine smile, what you're doing now." Your cheeks burned red as you leaned forward and kissed him. You had intended it to be a short kiss, but immediately Kylo deepened It. His hand stretched behind your neck holding you to him. His other arm pulled you by the waist closer to him. Your cheeks burned as he kissed you passionately. His lips were commanding and they moved yours accordingly. His tongue pressed against your bottom lip as if asking for permission. You melted underneath his touch an soon you allowed him to explore your mouth with his. You finally parted from him, taking short, shallow breaths.

"Jeez, Kylo." You said with a laugh. He laughed with you and pulled you so you were leaning on him.

"I want to be with you tonight." He said with a smile. Your body tightened at his words.

Oh shit so like-

"No! Wait no not like that!" His hand went up to smack against his forehead. "I just mean I want us to be together tonight. Because we don't know what could happen tomorrow." You breathed out the air you had been holding in. You turned to look at him.

"So you don't want to be with me?" You teased. He gave you a small smirk.

"I do. God do I. But not tonight. Tonight I just want to hold you and kiss you." He paused for a second before continuing. "-and tell you I love you."

"You love me?" Your heart felt like it weighed more than your entire body. He chuckled and you could see his cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink. He nodded and moved a bit closer to you.

"I do." He admitted. His fingers intertwined with yours. "And do you? You know?"

"Yes! I mean- I love you too." You stuttered. You leaned into him and kissed him softly.

"Really?" He asked tentatively. You could feel him shaking slightly with nerves.

"Yes. So much." You caught his lips in a long kiss. With this new comfortability he didn't hesitate to deepen it greatly. When you broke apart he looked happier than you had ever seen him.

"No one has ever-" He shook his head. "I've never loved anyone like this (Y/N)."

"Neither have I." It was the pure truth. You had a few lovers in your life, but you'd never loved them. Not like this.

"There has never been a more lonely soul than that of Kylo Ren..." Brott's words rang through your head. You smiled at the memory.

Not anymore Brott. Not anymore.

"I'm so happy to say it." He was beaming now. His hands shot out to grab your hips and he immediately pulled you onto his lap so that you were facing him. "I love you." He repeated before kissing you. You laughed when you broke apart.

"I love you too." You said smiling.

"I'd fight the galaxy for you." He said giving you another kiss. You giggled.

"Likewise." His arms wrapped around your back and pulled you flush against him.

"I love you." He said again. "I'm gonna keep saying it until you tell me to stop."

"Then get ready for that to be your only vocabulary because I'm not stopping you." You gave him a peck on the nose. "I love you."

"I love you"

"I love you"