Chapter 17

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Stuff was being moved, a loud clatter was filling the crowd and really, Niall was just too damn tired to be packing his stuff. He still couldn't quite register that their trip was over, everybody would now be going back to their silly little monotonous life. Dull and boring with nothing to do but just repeat the same routine over and over again. 

Niall sighed, stuffing his clothes inside the big black bag he was supposed to be carrying back. He still couldn't get the encounter with Harry out of his head. What did that even mean for them though? Despite the brunette looking guilty at first and then being the dominant male he actually is, what did it show about the sudden coldness towards Niall? He couldn't just explain it, why it felt like his heart was being toyed around with. Niall always expected the lads to just know, for them to feel his love and affection for them by his actions rather than by his words. Not that Niall hadn't ever voiced the three words out loud. He had said them plenty of times and had them said back to him as well but maybe those were the 'I-love-you's' people say to a mere friend they casually fuck rather than to someone they admire as a potential relationship partner. How would a relationship between them even work? Four of them and one of Niall? Something that won't ever be socially accepted. 

"Are you excited to be going back home?" Troye's voice,a thick Australian accent lacing it for some reason, called out. He could just see the line of hickies trailing down the slim boy's neck but didn't dare comment on it. What anyone did in their personal life - more specifically, who they did - wasn't really one of Niall's main concerns. He had more shit on his plate than he could carry. 

"I suppose." The blonde sighed, just thinking about all the fights he had seen happening between his parents and how Greg was just always leaving for days and weeks, not daring to come back to even visit. It wasn't a pleasant atmosphere back home but every time he would walk into the room, at least his parent's had the courtesy to shut up and behave civil with each other. Something Niall hadn't really expected from them. 

"Hey, don't be so glum about everything. Those guys don't deserve you if they can't understand how amazing you are. I haven't known you for a long time but I can tell that you're a very selfless and giving person, and that says a lot about you. So just let things happen, and give yourself some time away from drama. Maybe get laid or some shit like that?" The brunette winked cheekily at Niall, nudging him with his elbow a little. 

"I did get laid," The small blonde whispered, blushing furiously when he thought about how Justin's body had felt against his own. The memories of the night, which had just happened a day before, was still fresh but a little hazy, the alcohol having blocked the better part of the scenario it seems. But it was still enough, whatever broken pieces of the night he had, to ensure him that sex with Justin Bieber was definitely worth it. Even though a part of his body and his heart, would much rather prefer to be fucked into oblivion by Zayn's thick length or Louis's longer one. Whatever it was, he knew that the deepest part of him wanted and craved more of his boys than anyone else. 

"And you're still sad and frowning? Was he small? Or not good in bed? Did he not have any special moves?" Troye asked, genuinely confused. 

"He was perfect. Amazing in bed but I just-" Niall sighed, not even wanting to finish the sentence. Instead, he stared at Troye with his wide blue eyes, sitting down on the bed and neatly tucking his skirt under him, being sure not to leave any creases on the expensive item of clothing. 

"He wasn't them." His best mate, one that he had grown quite fond of, finished the sentence for him. It was as true as it was hurtful, pulling on the blonde's heart with how honest the words were. He just couldn't bring himself to feel a connection with the dirty blonde, with Justin. Even though, he had been with Justin before he had been with the other men. Not in a sexual way but more in the childish,romantic one. And he knew just how much Justin actually appreciated and respected him but he was scared, of letting people in and one just couldn't tell what time could do to people. Niall didn't want to risk anything, didn't want to put his heart out for someone to grab once again and crush it under their tight grip. He couldn't afford to loose a part of himself again so people like Justin, and other men, just had to wait. Wait till he had himself figured out and his life sorted. 

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