Wicked games h.s.

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

My next couple of weeks have been filled with me wasting away my life, mostly lying in bed, I was throwing up every now and then when flashbacks of that night came to my mind. I have been feeling disgusting about myself. Everyday has been the same.

Monday:

I have been lying in bed, I didn't even shower, I found a book to read but after staring at it for 15 minutes, I decided against reading it and turned on the tv to watch a movie. After I have finished watching all 8 parts of the fast and the furious movies, I decided to make myself something to eat even though I have been throwing up and not feeling great, I still needed to eat something.

Tuesday:

I woke up feeling extremely tired and I don't know what made me get out of bed or how I did it, but I got up and actually showered. Miles came to see how I have been but he was pretty disappointed in me, he didn't like the fact that I was being depressed in my own home. He wanted to get me out of the house, but I didn't want to go anywhere, I wasn't in the mood to get ready I just wanted to sit at home in my sweats and cry.

Wednesday:

Harry called me in the morning and woke me up, he wanted to know how I have been and I was pretty nice to him on the phone, as nice as I can be. He told me that he was very depressed and just filled his time with work to keep himself distracted and I didn't know what to tell him, I have been depressed as well but I don't have a job to fill my time with. I actually started to watch a new tv show and I made myself something more than a sandwich to eat, even though I was throwing up again that day.

Thursday:

I was feeling very motivated and went to the gym downstairs, I had some anger that I needed to let out and after a couple of hours, I was sweaty and gross from how hard the training had been. I took a shower and made myself something to eat and I slept the whole day because I was very tired.

Friday:

I actually decided to go out of the house, I went to the market and picked some stuff even though I felt disgusted by food lately, I couldn't even look at food without throwing up. Then I went to the mall and just went from store to store, pointlessly, I didn't even buy anything I just wanted to waste my time through the stores.

Saturday:

I got a call from Stefanie saying that we would go out tomorrow night and I didn't want to go out of the house and get ready and see everyone, but she convinced me to go. She said she really needed a friend and I agreed. I told her that I have been throwing up a lot and not feeling well and I thought she would advise me to go to the doctor and get checked but what she told me made my heart sink.

''You might be pregnant''

Tears formed in my eyes when she told me and I shook my head. ''No, there's no way'' I say to her. ''Just check'' she says. A million things run through my mind, I would have never thought that there's a chance for me to be pregnant, I thought that I have been throwing up and feeling tired because I'm depressed.

''Listen, Ari, you don't even have to go to the doctor's okay? You can buy a test from the pharmacy, just check'' she says. ''I could come with you, if you want'' she adds. ''No, no, I'm fine, I'll check on my own'' I tell her and hang up.

I go to the bathroom and search through the stuff that were already in the house and I find three pregnancy tests. I take them all and pee on the three of them, just to be sure. Waiting for the results on these sticks is driving me crazy, I know it says 3 minutes, but it feels like 3 hours.

I don't want to be pregnant, I don't want to carry his child, I don't want to have a child right now. I'm not ready and I'm very young to have a child, let alone his baby. He has a gang, he's doing illegal things, my child can't grow up in that kind of environment, the violence around him, I'm not going to give birth to a child that would be raised like that.

I look at the three pluses on all of the pregnancy tests and my heart sinks to my stomach. What am I going to do right now?