Handcuffed

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I fucked up.  One decision, one that determined my fate.  And it was a decision that changed my life.  If I only knew that a little earlier, well... things might be different.  

I stood by a sight I haven't seen in a while.  To be a little more accurate, around a year.  Of course, it didn't seem that long ago with how familiar this place was.  The town's local drug store was a location I had visited my whole life. Though, I guess the word 'visited' isn't that appropriate considering I was forced to come here.  Because of the papers, those damning documents.  The papers that said I needed drugs to help me.  Help.  Yeah right.  For the numerous years I have taken that medicine, it has been anything but helpful.  It was a brand.

This was the place that accepted my reality made up by the world of doctors and exposed it.  The place that owned me, backed up by the papers.  I didn't miss this worn down establishment, the building that I was forced into.  It was a place that housed proof that I had no say or rights according to the medicine I was given, backed up by evidence that I was insane.

It was only a coincidence I was here now.  Sidewalks after broken sidewalks.  Roads after endless towns.  Walking and walking until here I was.  I knew this town was my next stop before I meet my destination.  I pondered over whether I made the right choice.  Whether or not I should have come this way.  Maybe I should have just gone through other cities around this one to get to my destination.  But I knew that the quickest way would be through this town.  My home town I left more than a year ago.  One that was still looking for me according to what a sign on the drug store window said.

Missing was written under a picture of a 16 year old me. It also gave information on me. Such as my eye color which was brown, my hair as black, and my age at the time including my name. It also gave the date in which I had gone missing which was at the beginning of April, a little after my birthday.  I was surprised they actually put up signs and kept them up for that long.  I guess maybe it was because in this small town, there wasn't much that happened and there were not many teenagers that had gone missing around here.  They need some excitement, right?  They hated me but they kept looking because what else was there to do in this bland shit hole?

Seeing that sign... it made me more nervous.  What if someone sees me?  What if they catch me?  I can't go home.  No matter how screwed up my life is on the streets, I wont go home.  It was a huge risk I was taking, coming through this town where people obviously still had hope I was out there and alive - even if it was a fake hope lined with the resentment they also gave me.  Looking around at the cars passing under the traffic lights by the store, I realized how stupid I was with how I was out in the open.  I knew to come around this time of the day.  The sun was setting and darkness would cover me as I pass through town.  But what if it wasn't enough to cover my presence here? 

With my hood already up and covering most of my face, I started off down the abandoned sidewalks again.  Just a few miles, I kept telling myself.  A few miles and then I am out of this town.  But even though it was getting darker, I felt I went too far in coming here.  It was too much of a risk.  Maybe even for me.

But at the same time... it gave me a thrill.  A stupid thrill that would someday cost me something big.  What I didn't know then was that day was today.  What I didn't know was that I did indeed take it way to far in returning here.  A tingling feeling came over me and it had nothing to do with the weed in my system.  It had to do with the fact that I was here, in my home town.  It was dangerous coming back here because if I get caught, my life is ruined.  Whether in jail or at home, my life would be back in the dump if I get caught - as if it wasn't already there.  Yet, I liked that feeling in me now.  A risk being taken.  For over a year of the same bullshit, I liked the excitement running over me.  I was never safe in the streets with all the other screw-ups like me but after a while of being on my own, I started a routine.  Soon, it got boring.  And when things get boring for me, it's time for a change.  But... this was different.  A decision that could blow up in my face.