Handcuffed

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The smell of nature reached my nose and I could feel it swarming in my head with the peacefulness it brought.  Nature always brough me to relax.  With that scent the first thing I became aware of, I assumed I was still out in the woods.  But that wasn't the case. 

The smell of the outdoors and a new day came to me through my bedroom window, I saw upon opening my eyes.  I groaned for a few reasons.  The first one was kind of obvious: I was back at my house.  But I also groaned because an instant pain entered me from all over my body - mostly through my head. 

As I laid there after shifting a bit, my eyes resting on the blank wall I was facing, I tried to ignore the pain in my head.  And once I was able to do that, I was faced with the reality of last night.  I didn't get away; I was back at the bitch's lair.  That really wasn't what made me upset. It was that there was no escape either way. Even if I made it out of this town and on my own, where was the relief? 

"I don't know what to do," I heard a voice say aimed at me, surprised it wasn't my own since it's exactly what I was thinking.  But it was his voice.  I internally sighed.  I bet heaven was having a riot at seeing I didn't succeed in getting away.  God has a cruel sense of humor; but then again, so do I.

I turned over in bed, my eyes finding Luke as he sat in that same chair by my bed - the chair that was just removed a day ago since I got my freedom back.  Now, it would happen all over again.  Yippee.  His eyes were tired.  But not like they have been in the past.  He was emotionally tired, mentally drained it appeared and just done with this drama.  I couldn't blame the guy; so was I.  That was just my life. 

My cheek resting on my pillow, I felt my hair was still in a bun and I was still in the same clothes as I was last night.  Looking to him, I replied.  "You don't know what to do?  I'm just going to take a leap and say that it might be a good idea to get a divorce.  But hey, that's just me," I said with sarcasm though my voice was dead, groggy, along with everything else it seemed. 

His eyes flickered down to the floor and he remained silent, thinking.  I took that time for distraction from the pain and looked him over.  His hair was slightly messier than usual but it just added to his good looks.  He was wearing a grey t-shirt that was loose on him and jeans again that probably made his ass look good.  None of that would matter though if his face was as broken or tired as it appeared.  He was taking deep breaths and I could tell he was worried.  Most likely even more stressed beyond what he already was. 

My words weren't worth answering to and he just said, "What is it you want?"

I felt myself smirk but it wasn't genuine.  "Oh," I sighed.  "There are too many things for you to understand.  I could do without Clare being born," I said.  He would never know how serious I was on that.

"If Clare wasn't born, then you never would have been born either," he said, pointing out that fact with a neutral face. 

"Exactly," I mumbled just lightly under my breath against my pillow, enough so he wouldn't hear.

"I meant what is it I can do for you?  Because I'm not sure what it is you want anymore.  I thought you were  getting your life together.  I've tried hard to help you.  I got you out of a lot of shit, got you off the drugs, bought you whatever you wanted, promised you a fun summer..." he sighed, frustrated.  "Plus, I offered to teach you how to drive.  Yet, there will always be that one thing I can't change, won't there? The one thing that will continue to make you run away or try to."

I nodded.  "I will always be insane.  I will never have a good life because of that, because of my records and background.  Like I said: as long as I am Albany Higgins, I won't have any future to look forward to."