Catfish [l.s] (boyxboy)

IM Sick

double update :) i'm gonna try to do  triple but no promises, I might get sucked into reading again like I did last night.

"Hi," Eleanor says, sounding just like an Eleanor would, Louis thinks. He kicks her shin and she gives him a look that tells him he probably shouldn't do that again if he values his life, but, instead he raises his hands at her. 

Louis can hear the low muted sound of someone talking on the other end, and he tries to somehow act out that he wants Eleanor to put the thing on speaker phone. She looks at him with her eyebrows furrowed, and Louis nearly kicks her again out of exasperation. "Oh, yes, this is Anna."

Finally, he gets up and stomps over to the table, grabbing a business pad of paper and a pen before messily scribbling put it on speaker!! and holding it up for Eleanor to see. Her eyes widen in understanding as she pulls away from the phone and puts it on speaker, balancing it on the windowsill. Louis listens quietly as Harry clears his throat twice before speaking again.

"Hello. You sound different than I had imagined," he says, and Louis and Eleanor exchange a look of now what? Louis points at her before holding up two fingers. She still looks confused, so he does it again, and Harry actually has to ask if Anna is still there by the time Eleanor figures out what he's trying to suggest.

"Oh, I'm here. I was going to say... you too. I mean, you sound different than I had thought," she says, her voice lower than usual as she coughs weakly, trying to disguise it as a laugh. She sounds terrible, and Louis has got his face in his hands. He considers writing up a will now just so when Harry figures out something is up and kills him he's at least able to take some of the stress off of his loved ones.

"Are you alright? You sound... not good," Harry says, and Louis can almost picture that concerned little frown he gets on his face. He realizes with a pang that he hasn't spoken to Harry all day, probably because Harry has been talking to Anna all day. Louis obviously knows he's Anna, but it's not the same. He can't complain about Zayn to Harry or hug Harry or be himself when he's Anna. He wants to kiss Harry, actually, but not as Anna. He wants to kiss Harry and snog Harry and he really loves Harry; that's all his brain is, a constant stream of Harry Harry Harry.

It's driving him so insane that if Harry doesn't kill him he might just die from an emotional overload.

"Yeah. I'm... sick," Eleanor says, and Louis head snaps up immediately because, wow, she actually said something intelligent! He gives her a thumbs up that she glares at before standing up to get himself a cup of tea, leaving Eleanor and her pissy mood behind him. 

He gets the kettle going before he returns, and when he does, he's met with Eleanor sprawled on the window seat, laughing along with Harry at something with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. Louis feels ridiculous, but a wave of jealousy washes over him as he watches the two of them converse, talking about tennis and golf and football as well as their days and families. Stuff Louis already knows, stuff that he and Harry have already discussed, but, like. Still.

He has to remind himself that Harry only called because he liked the person that Louis had created, not Eleanor. Hell, Harry doesn't even know that it is Eleanor, and he probably isn't going to figure it out now, especially since he isn't suspicious. Louis is secretly grateful for that, but he also wants to be laughing with Harry the way Anna- Eleanor can. 

The kettle screeches in protest from the kitchen area of the room, so Louis hurries over to pull it off. He still feels dazed as he pours and fixes the tea himself silently. He eventually returns to Eleanor, who has taken the phone off of speaker and is now listening intently to whatever Harry's saying on the other end.

Fuck her, Louis thinks, sipping bitterly at his tea and instantly regretting it when he scorches his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Harry would kiss it better, Louis also thinks, but Harry is two doors down and Harry is straight.

God, why did he have to be straight? 

Maybe if Louis grew a pair of boobs Harry would change his mind. It's possible, isn't it? Okay, maybe not. He could just put on a lot of weight. Those man boob things are still boobs, aren't they? Harry probably wouldn't suddenly be attracted to him if he was dangerously overweight, though, so Louis mentally scratches out that idea. It's not like Louis can grow a vagina, either. Vaginas are so exclusive, he thinks. It's not like he can just join a vagina club. Are there even vagina clubs?

"Louis!" Eleanor hisses, startling Louis and causing a puddle of hot tea to splash down onto his trousers. He stifles a yelp of pain into the palm of his hand, scowling at Eleanor as the hot liquid dampens the fabric he's wearing. 

"What?"

"I hung up. If he calls again, I'll know what to do," she says, sliding her phone in her pocket before walking away to gather her things. Louis is about to protest until he looks over at the wall and sees that, yes, it has been half an hour and yes, he was thinking about Harry and vaginas the entire time.

Eleanor is out the door within seconds and walking quickly down the hallway, and Louis is still staring blankly at the wall, his own mobile resting in between his folded legs. That had been the plan, really, so he doesn't know why he feels so shitty all of the sudden. Maybe it's just the realization that no matter how much he fakes it, this thing he has with Anna will never satisfy Louis or Harry, and eventually he's going to have to confess or break Harry's heart by deleting Anna.

He kind of wants to smack himself, he kind of wants to cry, he kind of wants to scream, but mostly, he just wants Harry.