Jax's role as the "mutual friend" was to help Estella get the guy. Falling in love with her was never part of the plan.
Estella Gillon lives a simple life that consists of band, friends, her father and her never-ending crush on Brice Abrams. Ja...
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"I can't do this anymore," I told Ximena as we sat in her dorm. "We have to break up."
Her eyes widened, and it took her a second to find her voice. "Wow. Where's this coming from?"
"We're not happy, Ximena," I said. "You don't love me, and I don't love you."
"Why do we need love?" she asked. "Since when do you want love?" I didn't respond. "If you did, you never would have gotten with me in the first place."
"We can't keep going like this."
I couldn't believe I was doing this. I lost Estella because of my unwillingness to let go of Ximena, and now Estella was with Brice, so I didn't understand why I was doing it now, but I had to. Being with Ximena was suffocating me, and I needed to breathe.
She watched me. "Is it because of Estella?" I didn't speak. "It's because of her, isn't it?" I looked away. "Wow, I guess you really like her. Like her enough to want something real."
"I don't know what I want," I said.
"Regardless of what you tell yourself, you want Estella," she stated. "If you didn't, you wouldn't be doing this. She's with Brice, but you're still breaking up with me."
"You're not going to be heartbroken, Ximena," I said. "This was never real, for either one of us."
"It wasn't," she said. "But it was good enough. Fun. Safe."
"Too safe," I said. "I've been playing safe my whole life, and I'm tired of it."
I pushed people away to be safe. I pushed Estella away, and now I lost her. I didn't know if I could ever get her back, but I had to break free from this loveless relationship with Ximena.
"You deserve to be with someone you love and who loves you back," I told her. "This isn't it, and I'm not that guy."
"You have a girl who cares about you, and who you care about," she said, "but you gave it up. I would have done the same thing."
"That's why we're not good for each other," I said. "We re-enforce each other's toxic habits."
I was done being with girls like Ximena and Sabrina. The ones who allowed me to continue being the toxic person I was. The ones who allowed me to stay in my comfort zone.
"I guess we do," Ximena said. "What's it like?"
"What's what like?"
She smiled. "What's it like to give a damn about someone?"
