The Bad Boy and Me

10~ Flashback

No I never told you what I should have said. No I never told you, I just held it in. And now I miss everything about you. Can't believe that I still want you. After all the things we've been through I miss everything about you.

Without you, woah.

I never told you- Colbie Caillat

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But the worst part of it was you left without a proper fucking goodbye and all I could do is sit here and watch the time pass by.

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FLASHBACK

WHEN!? Why?! I'm-NO!" My mom chokes out. I stir in my sleep and rub my eyes. Are they fighting? I move away my princess comforter and tip toe to the top of the staircase to spy on them.

"Don't do this, please. Don't leave me, don't leave your daughter. Hate me, for whatever reason, but don't hate her. She needs you and it's not fair-" she sobs again, but my dad's face is blank and cold and emotionless.

I've never seen his face so dark, and it scares me. I never want to see it like this again.

"D-don't leave." She sobs.

He's leaving? Where's he going?

"You're going to wake her up." He blands out of his mouth.

"She deserves to know! She can't just wake up in the morning without a father! Why are you doing this?!"

And then he turns and walks out of the door, leaving my mother in a sobbing mess down on her knees.

I run down the stairs and down the driveway, trying to catch up with my dad, but he's already in the car.

He glances my way, and drives down the road without looking back, without a single goodbye.

That was the night I was broken. I was too young to know what was happening, but not too young to know he was never coming back.

I wake up, panting heavily, tears running down my cheeks. The pit in my stomach tells me what I'm about to do, so I race to the bathroom and puke my guts out.

I want to not care, I want to get over it, so much.

I just can't. I can't stop thinking about all the amazing times we spent together, going to the park, making homemade pizza and Everything But The Kitchen Sink Sundaes.

The look on his face, the emotionless cold expression, is forever branded in my memory.

After I'm done sobbing on the bathroom floor, I pick myself up and go back in my room. I look at the clock and it reads 4:21 am.

I sit on my bed and think. About my dad, what I did wrong, school, my friends, everything I guess.

Why is it that Blaize bullies me? What did I ever do to her?

And why won't Ryder leave me alone? Why doesn't he avoid me like he avoids his one-night stands?

Why am I happy to have a family? Shouldn't I be crying? Punching walls and shattering glasses?

Maybe I just want something. I want this loneliness to go away. I can't stand being on my own. I need someone to hold me, to comfort me. To tell me it's okay.

I really need a hug.

I make my trembling body get up and go to my window. I open it, and I soon shudder due to the cold. I tap on Ryder's window and a couple minutes later, his confused face pops up, and he opens the window.