Rainbow - Kellic // boyxboy

Chapter Eight

My blankets feel tight around me so I kick them off, but even after they're gone and I'm met with the semi-airy room, I still feel like my insides are boiling.

I feel queasy and feverish but I know I'm not sick.

I can't get the kiss out of my head and it's overwhelming. But beneath the sick feeling, there's a longing. A longing to kiss Vic again. It was perfect, the way his lips pressed to mine, the softness, how he tasted. It was perfect.

And underneath that sick feeling and longing, there's my common sense. I kissed Vic without his consent. Not only that but I kissed a BLIND guy without his consent. He couldn't have stopped me if he wanted too. He had no idea I was about to kiss him.

My lack of respect for something as simple as consent makes me feel dirty about my homosexuality.

What if these desires inside of me are as unnatural as I was taught? What if I'm just a sexual predator like I was made to believe? What if they were right? What if being gay is just a perversion and I'll never find real love because of it?

I can feel myself sinking deep into a hole I've somehow managed to avoid for a while now. And I definitely do not want to go back there so I jump out of bed, ready to go for a walk, something prescribed by Dr. Levit for whenever my thoughts get too much.

I pull my shoes out from under my bed and begin putting them on.

"Kellin?" Vic croaks out, sitting up. "What time is it?"

His blankets fall off him, revealing his bare chest that is mesmerising in the dim moonlight.

I quickly check my phone for the time, flustered and blushing.

"Three in the morning. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I grimace.

"No, it's okay. Where are you going?" he asks, rubbing his eyes.

"I was just going to go for a walk. I can't sleep." I admit.

"Oh, can I come?"

His question catches me off guard.

"Um, yeah of course." I chirp half-heartedly. I feel a little unsure about my decision though. Are things going to be awkward and uncomfortable after the kiss?

I watch Vic get out of bed but I quickly turn my head away when I realize he's only in his boxers.

I finish putting my shoes on as Vic gets dressed, and with great difficulty, I refrain from peeking.

When Vic is ready to go, I take my keycard and we leave the room. We enter the dim hallway that is only lit up by small lights above each door.

Vic suddenly grabs my wrist, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. His hand slides down and finds mine, then our fingers link together.

"Lead the way." he chirps.

I glance up at him shyly but look away the second I see his handsome smile.

We walk hand in hand out of the dorm building. I give the security guard a little wave although he seems too nonchalant to care.

I lead Vic along the path outside and we get deeper and deeper into the beautiful garden which covers most of the campus grounds. I only wish Vic could see it.

I glance up at him and see the moonlight reflecting off the lenses of his glasses. I think back to his eyes and I want to tell him how beautiful they are but it doesn't seem appropriate.

The silence between us doesn't become noticible to me until we've walked quite a distance from our dorm building.

I want to speak and break the silence but I don't know what to say.