Rainbow - Kellic // boyxboy

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Is there a reason you look more nervous than I do? Should I be more nervous?" I ask Vic as we're leaving our dorm to head off to his parent's house for dinner.

I'm already freaking out so if I should be more nervous I don't know if I can handle this.

Vic chuckles a little but there's tension in his laughter.

"You're going to be fine, Kells. I have reason to be more nervous than you." he assures me.

"Why do you need to be nervous? They're your parents." I frown, feeling even more anxious. What if his parents are like mine?

He sighs and smiles sadly. He doesn't say anything as we walk down the stairs of our building. He's silent until we're outside.

"They're just a lot. I don't want them to humiliate me in front of you." he sighs.

His words leave me worried.

"What exactly do you mean by 'a lot'?" I frown.

He sighs and takes my hand. I get the urge to pull away, but there's barely anyone around and I can tell he needs the affection, so I just let him hold it.

"Remember the flight attendant from the trip to Washington?" he mumbles.

I think back to the ignorant woman and how Vic handled the situation so well. 

"They're like her?" I ask confused.

He's silent after that. I get a chill from the cold night air and I look to Vic who isn't wearing a jacket. I wonder if he's cold. I wonder if he's not wearing a jacket to impress me.

"Maybe worse." he shrugs.

I squeeze his hand and kiss his shoulder gently.

"Don't get me wrong, I love them and I'm so grateful I have them, and I know it comes from a place of love, but ever since I went blind they treat me like I'm incompetent. And maybe that made sense in the beginning but it's been five years. I know how to handle myself." he rambles frustrated. "I feel like a lot of my shame around my blindness is because of them."

I listen intently, my heart aching at his confession. I know what the impact of a parent's shame can do.

"I'm sorry, Vic." I say softly.

"It's okay. I'm just lucky to have loving parents, I guess." He smiles sadly.

That makes me wonder if my dad ever loved me. I wonder if his anger and his resentment towards my sexuality came from a good place. Maybe he just didn't want me to suffer.

I remember when he suggested conversion therapy, and the shear joy on his face when I agreed. I can't help but to wonder what our relationship would be like if Sam hadn't gotten custody of me and I had gone. Dr. Levit told me it wouldn't have worked, that it could never have made me straight, but maybe my dad would have appreciated me trying.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as we leave campus. I wonder how far we're going and I wonder if Vic knows the way from here.

Although, my questions are answered a lot quicker than I was expecting, as we only walk two blocks and then Vic tells me we're here.

"Wow, it's so close." I say a little stunned.

"Well they weren't going to let me move too far, were they?" he chuckles sadly as he unlatches the gate and leads me up to the door.

My heart pounds in my chest but there's something calming about the small house and it's beautiful exterior. Vic knocks gently and soon the stained glass windows on the door are shadowed as someone unlocks it and pulls it open.