MBTI

How to effectively communicate with any type

Communicating with ISTJs

Do’s: At the beginning of the conversation, make sure you tell your story or present your argument in a sequential order. ISTJs want a conversation to go from point A to B to C. Provide verifiable facts and concrete details if you want to win their trust. If you want to interest them, try to show them the practical application of what you’re talking about. Theory for theory’s sake often holds little interest. Keep your arguments as logical as possible, and try to simplify your message. Long, meandering tangents can frustrate them.

Don’ts: Don’t jump around from section to section in your story. Intuitives tend to struggle with telling a story in a sequential format, and this is frustrating for ISTJs. Try to keep your communication as linear as possible. Don’t ask them to brainstorm possibilities.  ISTJs like time to mull things over and think things through before coming to a decision, so brainstorming and coming up with spontaneous ideas is not enjoyable for them most of the time. Don’t make emotional appeals to get what you want.

Communicating with ISFJs

Do’s: At the beginning of the conversation, be clear about the topic you’re wanting to discuss. Be clear about your desires and needs. If you’re giving instructions try to explain them in a step-by-step format. To gain their interest, talk about the practical application of your message or how your view may positively impact the people involved.  Be polite, conscientious, and considerate. Good manners and respect for the ISFJ’s privacy is a must. Respect their feelings and show consideration for the feelings of other people that you are discussing.  Honor your promises, commitments, and plans.

D

on’ts: Don’t ask invasive personal questions unless you have an extremely close friendship already. Let them take the lead in this area. ISFJs are very private people and will feel uncomfortable if you are pushing too deeply into their personal affairs. Don’t rush them to make a decision; these types need time to think things over and analyze situations. Don’t raise your voice or disregard their emotions and feelings. These are gentle, empathetic individuals and they desire patience and empathy in return.

Communicating with ESTJs

Do’s: At the beginning of the conversation, be clear and direct about your message. Speak in a sequential order and get “straight to the point” while backing up your plan with facts and concrete details. Be frank and confident and expect the same in return. To win their trust, make sure you show that you are responsible and have plenty of objective logic behind your message. To influence them, try to appeal to their love of justice and fairness and show that you know how to “get the job done”. Show that you respect the rules and aren’t wishy-washy.

Don’ts: Don’t appeal to them on an emotional level. They tend to distrust emotions, especially in early/mid-life. As they get older their inferior function (Introverted Feeling) will be more developed and they may place more trust in emotional/value-based decisions. Don’t skirt around troublesome issues or details, be clear and honest about everything. Don’t “beat around the bush”, they will get very impatient with this.

Communicating with ESFJs

Do’s: At the beginning of the conversation, be clear yet considerate about your message. Show your concern for the people involved and for the feelings of the ESFJ. If you’re discussing a plan, try to speak in a sequential order and provide facts and details for credibility. To win their trust, be honest and polite and explain how you feel about what you’re saying. To persuade them, show how your message correlates with their value system or positively impacts people. Mention points of agreement and positives before giving criticism. As always with SJ types, practical application is important.