Why him? - Montgomery De La Cruz

Ellas full tape

Do you ever mean the things that you say? Standing there in your tight cheer uniform that hugged all of your curves so perfectly while all the boys gawked at you. You broke my heart and all you could say was 'sorry' let me just tell you one thing, your a horrible liar and I didn't even have to know you for that long to be able to tell. Ella Emblen, Welcome to your tape.

So tell me Ella, was your life just as perfect as people thought it was? Because from what I saw, it wasn't. We had a good relationship for most parts but there were some problems between us. Some would say that we were like fire and ice.

When we first met at kats party there was something about you that drew my attention and I didn't exactly know what. Was it your cool, funny and kind personality? Was it the way that your laugh made me feel so calm? I know what some of you guys are thinking and no. I did not have a crush on Ella. We've talked about this back on a previous tape. Ella Emblen I admired you. You were so kind to me but then again... in every angel lies a demon that is just itching to get out.l and reveal itself.

They say that the kindest smiles hide the darkest secrets and that's when I really started believing it. I saw the way your boyfriend treated you on multiple occasions and I tried to be a good friend and protect you. So tell me, why couldn't you be a good friend? After Kat left I believed you were my best friend and sure, I got mad at you a lot but I was just trying to help. I heard all the times you stood up for me even against your best friends. You made made me feel special. You made me feel like I actually mattered. When I was surrounded by the vicious blood thirsty wolves there you were protecting me, standing between me and the wolves. While half of you wanted to stay and protect me I knew that deep down you felt drawn to the wolves who wanted to protect you.

So tell me Ella, how does it feel being protected by the wolves? Or should I say liberty high tigers?

You seemed so nice and everyone loved you. Well... almost everyone. I remember the first time I saw you cry, and it wasn't the last. And it wasn't always over your shitty father

You really were a great person Ella. How could you live with everything that happens to you? All the hits you take from the two men who are meant to be two of the most important men in your life, your boyfriend and your father. Tell me Ella, how does one person bottle all of that up and not explode?

I don't know whether I found it sad or ironic that I was the one that continuously saw you get hurt while the people you called your best friends, your family didn't. Did your so called 'best friends' notice the days when you wore  a little extra makeup to cover the bruises that your dad was always giving you the night before? I know I did. And did they believe you when you always told them 'oh o just fell off my skateboard' or 'oh I just hurt myself at cheer practise' because I didn't. I found it kind of ironic because I'm pretty sure that they did notice all of the random bruises that show up on your arms or the large cuts and small scars. But they didn't know who to blame. Was it your dad? The single father, known for having a temper and a taste for alcohol and drugs. Or was it your boyfriend? Montgomery De La Cruz. Liberty High Jock, known for having a temper and a taste for alcohol and drugs. Anyone else see a pattern? Because the answer is... ding ding ding... both.

So Ella do you remember that movie you loved so much? The outsiders? You loved it but you said you couldn't watch it with me because it was yours and Jeff's movie but you still wanted me to watch it. I don't watch it, well until tonight, my last night that is. But you always told me to 'stay gold' and I would laugh and then you would just go on about how boys back in the 80s and 90s were so cute but I was too hooked up on the boys from our decade.

You told me to stay gold and I always thought it was two stupid words until I watched the movie and I understand now... thanks to that boy you like, Johnny or something? Tell me Ella, do you really think that all kids are innocent and then loose their golden touch when they grow up? Do they lose their innocence or did they not really have any to begin with. Whenever I hung out with you I felt free, like I wouldn't be judged but I also felt protected. You told me you felt protected by Montgomery and I never really could understand why. Who could you feel protected by the person who was the one hurting you?

The truth is Ella that you were my best friend. I loved you. I trusted you and that was my mistake, not yours. I heard you Ella on that night, the night you decided to hang out with the one person o thought that I would never see you with. The person who you hated. Courtney Crimson.

You stabbed me in the back Ella and that hurt me. It made me mad, and out of all of the people you could have said it too of course it was Courtney.

So here is the million dollar question that all of us have been asking... why him?

Which would you choose him? Heck even Zach or Justin would have been better than Montgomery. So many boys adored you and yet you always chose him. Always.

I mean Jeff and Zach... those boys... they are completely in love with you and everyone could see it. Well I guess in Jeff's place we should say was. I know you loved Jeff and you love Zach. Your safety and happiness was always both of their highest priority. It kinda made me jealous to be honest. The little sparkle in their eyes that they got when they saw you was bright enough to light up all of America. But you chose Montgomery De La Cruz. Why him?

So Ella here's the part that everyone has been waiting for. The reason your on these tapes is not because of the way you treated me over the last two years that I was here but because of how you let me go so easily on my last night.

You were supposed to be my best friend. And You decided to talk about me behind my back. You broke my heart Ella. Your eyes held mysteries that even you couldn't explain and your words cut deeper than you could have ever known.

Deep enough to kill me.

It was the night I decided to end it all. You came to me with the usual soft smile that you wear. You always smiled like you were about to cry. You lied to me. All the words that were coming out of your mouth were lies. I heard you Ella. I heard you talking about me and you denied it. Deny. Deny. Deny. You played me like a game, but your playing my game now. You and all of your friends. Tell me Ella, will you stab them all in the back just like you did to me? Do you really think they will still want to be your friend after they see who you have become? Who you really are?

You hurt me the most Ella. You should have been there for me. You could have stopped it. All of you could have stopped it. But Ella you should have been the one to stop me and yet you were the one handing me the blades.

Well Ella I guess this is the end of your tape. I was going to put you a lot further along the list but I thought it would be pretty ironic to put you before whoever the next person is. I wish I could see your face as you give it to her and I wish I could see her face when she realises that you know what she did

I wonder if you will forgive her, after all you seem to forgive everybody else every single time.