Marahas na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko nang binitawan na niya ako sa parking lot ng building ng foundation. Tahimik niya akong sinuri at pinagmasdan bago magsalitang muli.
"How are you?" He said calmly, Atleast in words but the tight veins on his torso tells me the otherwise.
"What happened?" He asked again. "Why did you leave?"
Ngumiti ako ng pilit. Madalas kong maramdaman ang sakit na dulot ng pag-iisa. Marahil ay simula palang naman kasi sa umpisa ay wala na akong matatakbuhan. Ngunit ngayon na nandito siya. Pakiramdam ko mas lumala lang ang pakiramdam noong para kang nag-iisa. Masakit. Pero kahit paano masaya pala na malamang mayroong nag-mamalasakit kahit papaano.
"I-I wanted to leave." I started the conversation with little bit stammering because of the different emotions I am feeling at the moment. "That's just it."
"I know." He said while his eyes was piercing into mine. "I know there's different reason behind it, Buttercup." His jaw clenched in a harsh way.
I damned know that he's angry right now. But he can't fool me. Ang buong akala ko ay hindi niya ako maalala?
"A-And yours?! Akala ko ba hindi mo ako maalala!" Utal kong tanong habang pinipigilan ang takot na makita nya kung gaano ko kagustong sumama pabalik sa kanya.
"Nagkunwari kang walang maalala.. Why would you do that?" I asked him. My mind completely turned turbid.
Why would he need to do that? I feel completely lost when he said that he didn't recognize me. Akala ko ay kinalimutan na niya ako. Akala ko hindi niya na ako nakikilala. Ang sakit pala isipin kunsakali na hindi niya na ako kilala.
"Because someone told me to do so." He said into smirk.
I feel mad. My whole system was too vivid to get angry and all I wanted was to smashed him with my own knives. But I know, Ako ang may kasalanan, ako ang lumayo, Kaya dapat ako ang manahimik at umintindi kahit gaano pa siya kagago.
"Yeah right." Sa wakas ay wika ko sa kabila ng pagiging iritado. Hindi parin ako makapaniwalang pinagloloko lang niya ako kanina sa hardin.
Huminga siya ng malalim at saka muling tumingin sa aking mga mata. "Please, Aurora, Tell the fucking truth behind your absence." He said with so much control and a bit of frustration.
"I can't." I said as my anger slowly backing down. "Hindi mo na naman na kailangan pang-malaman."
Natatakot ako sa pinapakita niyang lambot at lambing. Mayroong hindi tama. Mayroong hindi dapat. Unti-unti kong inihakbang paatras ang aking paa sa takot na anumang oras ay bumigay akong muli sa kaniya.
This time he caught me in my elbows. He closed the distance between us. He was biting his lower lip and he's looking so dangerous in the different shades of his blue eyes. Ito ang pagkakataong nawalan ako ng lakas upang umiwas. Hinawakan niya ang aking braso.
Inilapit niya pang-muli ang kaniyang mukha sa akin. Tila hindi kailanman nasiyahan sa kaunting distansya na naglalayo at natitira sa aming mga labi. Pumikit ako ng mariin at pinigilan ang hininga.
"All I want you to do is to trust me." He slowly whispered in soft tone. Tilang nanlambing. nagmamakaawa. "Konting tiwala lang, Buttercup. And we could do this. Ako na ang gagalaw, ako naman ang lalaban."
He held my chin and rapidly removed it. Tila napapaso ako sa katiting na distansya namin.
"I-I don't know what to do anymore." I said in my shaking voice as a tear dropped in my right cheek.
He scooped me from where I was. He held my arms to his nape. Kahit na kinakabahan ay hindi ko magawang magprotesta o mag-apila man lang. I'm too frightened and overwhelmed by his presence.
"I know you're tired. I know how hard this is for you." He gently nuzzle my hair. Marahan habang dinadala niya ako patungo sa isang itim na Hummer Jeep.
He was slowly and gently stroking the strands of my hair habang nakahilig ako sa kanya ng maipasok niya ako sa jeep. Kalmado na kami hindi katulad kanina. I don't know why but after all these months being away from each other. I thought my feeling for him will be soon invalid and vanished like how the time goes by.
But I was totally wrong. I gulped in my own realizations. Ngunit hindi ito ang tamang panahon para doon. Baka naawa lang siya sa akin. Baka kailangan lang nila ako kaya nandito ulit siya sa tabi ko. Napaka-raming Baka pero isa lang ang sigurado. Hindi ito magtatagal gaya ng kung gaano ko gustuhin to.
He sighed. "What are you thinking?"
"Nothing.." sabi ko.
"We are leaving this town. Kinakausap lang ng Sixth sila Sister." He informed me after a long minute of silence.
"Sasama ba si Kaye?" I asked, Unti-unti akong lumayo sa kaniya upang harapin ang kaniyang mga titig. His hands loosen but still gripping softly my waist.
"Pinsan mo siya? Pinapamatsyagan mo ba ako sa kanya?" I asked, mayroong pangsisiyasat sa aking mga mata.
"Yes and No." He said softly. Handa na ang mga mata niyang iiwas ito sa akin ngunit hinawakan ko ang kaniyang panga. Softly tracing his jawline. His rough subtle bristles were peeking. He wasn't shaved. He was always clean and proper months ago. He was well trimmed but now his blonde hair was clung in his neck. He looks rudely handsome. rough and never able to calm different from his actions right now.
"Hindi pwedeng Oo at hindi, Ozwald.." Bulong ko habang hinahangaan ang kanyang buong karahasan. Oh shit, Ozwald and his roughness made me crazy.
"I'll tell you when we get home, Alright?" Tanging nasabi na lamang niya bago kinuha ang cellphone sa dashboard.
Sumaglit siya nang sulyap sa akin bago tuluyang itong nagtipa ng numero. Nag-ring ang aparato. Mabilis lang iyon na sinagot ng nasa kabilang linya. His eyes rose to met mine.
"Is everything done?... Yeah I got her.... Okay, Let's get home now." He said from the conversation to the other line.
Nanatili siyang nakikinig bago nya tapusin ang tawag at patakbuhing muli ang Hummer.
Malawak ang lawn sa tabi ng daan. Alam kong dito ang daan pabalik ng Windward Hills. I don't really know if this is a good idea. But I am certain that things will be more complicated when I come home with them. Even that town brings a lot of bad memories. I am still not sure of calling it my home.
I flinched a bit when he touches my hand. But he just chuckled as he gently caressing it's fingertips while his other hand was operating and driving slowly. Nasa taas lamang iyon ng kaliwang hita ko kaya hindi mahirap sa kanya upang abutin.
He smiled a bit nang dumako ang paningin ko mula sa kandungan tungo sa kanyang position. His eyes were enigmatic amidst of his rough jaw and nose line. He look sincere and beautifully enticing. Ang magulong mahabang buhok ay nakakadagdag sa kaniyang mapangakit na postura.
"Always remember, If nobody got you." He stared into my dark eyes, it was reminding me of how dark is my life before him. "I got you.. always remember that." He said slower. surely.. like he will always be at my side.
I hope so, As I smiled back before I turned into the moistened windows of the car. The clouds were dark and eerie. The news forecast today says it would be raining.
But right at this moment, I will never forget the peeking hopes inside of me as the raindrops falling with the car window..
