My mind haywire as the pouring raindrops from the grayish and blue hues on the skylight above. Pakiramdam ko nakikiayon ang langit sa aking nararamdaman. Nanatili akong walang buhay na naglalakad sa gilid ng daanan. Suot ang simpleng tshirt at jeans, Isang maliit na payong ang nagsisilbing aking panangga sa pumapatak na ulan.
Magulo ang syudad ng The Orion, Sa gitna ng bagsik ng bagyo ay hindi nag-patinag ang mga residente ng syudad. The evil people are wandering through the streets of the city doing bad things such as; inhaling drugs and smoking, stealing, Illegal drag racings and etchetera. I didn't mind at all, Perhaps, The Orion Division was the home of the worsts.
Mabilis ang aking paghinga dulot ng kirot sa aking sikmura at balikat, Ngunit kahit lubha pang naghihina, nagtungo parin ako rito para mag-baka sakali.. Dallace Villan texted me using an unknown number earlier, She wanted a serious talk. At batid ko kung anong klaseng seryosong pag-uusap ang kaniyang intensyon mula sa akin.
I felt the intense pain from my chest, probably it was my throbbing heart, If I still had that heart to beat.. But, now as the raindrops struck my bare skin, the stirring pain of bereavement and loneliness.. Was associated with a mixture of excitement and longing amidst the cold weather. Amidst of everything my heart was still beating. Even though it is somehow uneven I still want to protect it. It had to be there, alive or not. Atleast it was still beating.
Natanaw ko na ang coffee shop na aming tagpuan. Tumunog ang maliit na kampanilya sa pinto ng tatlong beses, Kasabay ito ng aking pagpasok sa loob ng coffee shop. The shop had a vibe of vintage and swift of homey coziness. It was full of wooden tables and soft cushions and different architectural furnitures that attracts the costumers.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago igala ang aking paningin sa buong paligid, dumako ito sa magandang babaeng sa bandang dulong bahagi. Her turquoise hair was flaunt in fabulous ponytail. She was wearing a black leather skirt and sleeveless buttoned shirt revealing too much skin for this calming zone. I always hated her guts and recklessness. But then again, she is my sister and I see myself to her so that's probably the reason why..
Nang magtama ang aming panigin ay tumango lamang ito at ibinalik ang atensyon sa tasa ng kape sa kanyang lamesa. Ani mo'y mas matinding interes ang kanyang napukaw sa kapeng iyon kumpara sa aking pagdating. I breathed another batch of air to remove the stirring tension I was currently feeling. Nang makalapit at makaupo ako sa lamesa ay hindi siya nagpatumpik-tumpik pa at inihagis ang isang litrato sa aking harapan. My stomach turned cold and shallow.
The photo was edited in black and white, but it was clear.. That was a photo of me and the mafia boss on the port. We are both soaking at the pavement lying and cold. I am perfectly fine but he was not. His marine eyes was far gone and closed.. Tadtad ng bala ang kanyang suot na polo shirt. His skin was the pale and lifeless, but his face.. It look so calm and tranquil behind the tragic ending.. He looks like at last, he felt peace..
My chest hurt, and my heart was throbbing so bad that the pain was surpassing my tiredness and confusion.. Perhaps, I was still thankful seeing him in serene, peacefully sleeping.. But the tragedy was to not woke up for the next morning.
"I-Ikaw ba?" Kasabay ng pagtulo ng aking luha ay ang nangungusap na mata ni Dallace ang bumungad sa akin.. "Ikaw ba ang gumawa nito?"
I just stared blankly at her. Her anger was valid. So I stayed silent as the tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Mag-salita ka. Dahil ikaw ang kanilang inaakusahan! Ipagtanggol mo ang sarili mo!" malamig niyang satinig. Nangungusap ang kanyang pares ng kanyang mga mata. Nagmamakaawa ang mga iyon, bagay na ngayon ko lamang nakita sa kanya.
Few costumers of the shop was peeking into our table because of her shouting, but I didn't mind though. I just stayed on my seat.. letting her anger consumed my whole system. I couldn't bare to talk, or at least mutter anything. Pakiramdam ko ay mas lalo siyang masasaktan sa mga simpleng salitang lalabas sa aking labi.
"Mag-salita ka naman.." She fisted her hands above the table. "It isn't you right? It isn't you who killed him." wika niya na tila siguradong sigurado tungkol doon.
Tuluyan ng bumuhos ang mga luha ko, Muling nagbalik sa akin ang mga sikretong nabunyag, ang mga mga sakripisyo at ang panibagong pangako na hindi ko alam kung paano ko tutuparin. I promised to a father not to the Echavarri's Mafia Boss. And I felt like it was coming on me all that I couldn't take it. I cried, for the first time.. I cried my heart out.
I felt the table moved and she shifted to the seat beside me, Hinawakan niya ako sa mag-kabilang balikat upang iharap sa kanya. She touched my cheeks and slowly wipe my tears away using her thumb.
"I am a family, I am your sister and Papa is also there. He was waiting for you to come home, Naririto kami para saiyo. Aurora." malambot niyang wika.
Hindi ko maintindihan, Akala ko ay galit ang kanyang nararamdaman sa akin?
"Why.." mahina kong usal.
"There's no reason why, We are family." She said carefully.
I felt like this was a dream. I was asking.. If this was true.. That there's someone who's waiting for me to come home. Because my poor heart hurt more, I cried harder and guttural whined like a kid that's lost and was found.
She suddenly raised to her seat and hugged me tightly. My body stunned for a moment. Hindi agad ako nakahuma roon.. Ngunit agad akong nakabawi at tinanggap iyon. We both relaxed for a moment. Napakasarap pala ng pakiramdam na ito, It was what I truly need after everything. For so long that I was alone and isolated—Right now, At last, I felt that something was alive in me. And I hope that was my heart.
"C-Can I go home.. with you?" I asked stuttering. If this is the feeling of being appreciated.. I was thankful, It felt so long that I forgot how it feels, I am contented.
"Off course, Papa's going to be happy to see you, I'll just make a call okay?" Ngumiti siya, hindi ito abot sa mga tenga at halatang pagod, Subalit may senseridad sa mga mata nito.
I just nod at her.
Tumayo siya at bahagyang lumayo sa lamesa upang magtungo sa medyo tahimik na parte ng coffee shop.
Meanwhile, I stay on our table watching every single people walking down the rainy streets against the window.. The raindrops was causing the window to be vivid but my eyes landed onto someone. I squinted my orbs as his familiar face reach my sight. He was across the shop that I was seating right now. The raindrops from the glass on the window was hindering my sight of him. He was serious while seating on the other side of the bookshop across mine.
He was talking and it looks like he was dealing with the dangerous persons that he should not to deal with. Several seconds passed. He probably felt my intense stares at him for he took a quick glance at my direction. For a long span of seconds. He eyes was dark as it was piercing mine. It looked like he was not looked surprised that I was here, watching him. He look at his wristwatch and tapped it while looking at me. It was like he is signaling the time, that that time was over for me.
I held my breathe as he stood and simply walked away like nothing happened. I creased my brows as confusion overtook me. Bakit siya naririto? at ano bang ibig-sabihin noon?!
My chaotic mind drifted back to Dallace who gently tap my shoulder.
"Are you alright?" She asked while her eyes was checking the surroundings.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Tumango ito pagkatapos makitang walang ibang kahina-hinala sa paligid. But my eyes landed again on the bookstore across. He was gone, however his presence made me feel like something bad would be coming.
"Let's go home now," She sighed as she walked out of the coffee shop.
She look like she was deadbat and tired. So, Instead of bothering her to tell what I had saw. I just remained silent and kept it on myself. Tumango ako, Kahit na nag-aalangan, ay sumunod ako sa kanya. Muli nanaman akong malalim na bumuntong hininga at sinulyapan ng huling tingin ang bookstore bago umalis.
