Selenophilia

Prologue

Elise knew the nightmares, the chains, the horror and the fear. 

The nightmares were the ones that plays on loop, playing in her head repeatedly, over and over and over again, torturing her, drowning her, sinking her, deeper and deeper into its darkest depths.

The chains were the ones that she could always feel, the ones that scares her more than the monsters that creeps below her bed, the ones that whispers in her ear whenever she's alone, whispering soft and gentle words, controlling her, deceiving her, manipulating her, making her stay in place. The chains, her chains, were the ones that she could always feel, the ones that scares her more than the monsters that creeps below her bed and in her closet.

The horror and the undying fear were what keeps her down in a bottomless pit of emotions, chocking her, wishing that it would disappear, wishing that she could just erase everything.

Oh, and Elise could feel everything whenever she remembers her beloved father and mother.

Sometimes, she would hear their soft, angelic voices whispering her so many things that would put a smile on her face.  They sounded so close that Elise could sometimes feel them, so close that she could almost feel the warmth seeping out of their skin and their benign hands that once caressed her cheeks.

Everything would feel like a dream whenever it happens.

Elise would then remember these precious memories that she puts away in the back of her mind. These memories that turns into nightmares. These memories that makes her cry and feel like she'd been torn apart.

Elise would remember them tucking her in a warm, comfy bed, times where they would just embrace her, reminding her that she was loved, that she was missed, that she was special or when they would caress her cheeks with their gentle, calloused hands, longingly kissing her forehead while their tears continuously fall down their cheeks while they whisper their sorrowful goodbyes.

"I love you, my dear."

"I'm sorry, my love."

"Goodbye, Elise..."

Those memories were now buried to the grave where Elise's parents are right now.

The invisible chains that she constantly tries to pull were the ones that makes her wish. The ones that makes her hope. The ones that makes her believe in something that would never come true.

why?

Why do we still wish, why do we hope, for something that will never ever come true?

The pain and the sorrows, the sadness and the hallow ache inside her chest became her invisible chains. Her inner demons. It became her reminder whenever she struggles against it.

The horror and the fear that burns like acid always makes her eyes swell up in tears.

She remembers the ones who took her in. Her relatives were one of a kind, they're the ones who's always in the back of her mind, the ones that makes her fury burn like an endless flame. Elise had tried to be at her most best behaviour for them, tried to be perfect, tried to do everything they ordered to.

But they didn't just favour her.

They didn't love her.

She wasn't perfect in their eyes.

Or maybe she really wasn't enough?

__

Elise trudged the forest floor with desperation sinking in her bones. She walked the forest floor like a man on a mission. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold, icy weather, her brown hair were tousled and unkempt.