Chapter 12 My Walls Are Breaking

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I woke up to the feeling of fingers running through my hair nicely. I leaned into the hand and gazed up to see Louis. I smiled at him and closed my sleepy eyes, relaxing into his touch.

"Sorry, did I wake you, love?" He said softly. I opened my eyes and smiled widely at the pet name.

"Yeah but its alright. I need to wake up away," I sat up and he sat up with me. He move out the bed first and held his hand out. I blushed a little but took it anyway. He helped me out the bed and looked at me worriedly.

"You alright, Haz? You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," I smiled at him. It was nice to know that still now he won't force me to do anything that I don't want to do. I interlocked our fingers and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Its ok. I'm ok. I feel like I should talk about it because I didn't have anyone else but now I have you and the lads," I smiled softly. He nodded at me but he still looked worried.

I pulled him out the door, closing it behind me. We walked down the hallway and down the stairs hand in hand and I smiled as I remembered that Louis is now my boyfriend.

As the living room came into our sight, the boys leaped to their feet, all looking at me with worry and concern. They all started to talk at once, bombarding me with questions, and I couldn't make out anything they were saying.

I held up a hand and they all quieted. I took a deep breath.

"I'm fine. Thank you, guys," I smiled genuinely at them. They seemed to relax a bit but were still a bit tense.

"We just want you to be ok, H," Niall said, concern lacing every word. Zayn and Liam murmured their agreements as well.

"What happened, mate? If you're ok telling us," Zayn asked wearily. I nodded my head and moved to take the loveseat. They followed in suit as they take their seats on the couches. Louis sat on the arm of the seat as I curled into myself tucking my knees to my chest. He takes one of my hands and locks our fingers together.

The other lads take the gesture and look amongst each other. My heart started to beat fast and I readied myself for the hate but my worries disappeared when smug smirks take over all the lads faces as they look over towards us.

"Whats this huh? What did we miss?" Niall said, wiggling his eyebrows at us suggestively. We all laugh at him while Zayn and Liam started to wolf whistle at us. After our laughter died down, Louis answered their question.

"I asked Harry to be my boyfriend." I smiled and nodded my head.

"Geez finally, mate! I mean seriously it was Harry this, Harry that," Liam exclaimed playfully. "He was smitten before he even got you." Everyone laughed as my cheeks blushed a bit.

"Anyways we're happy for you guys," Zayn added. I nodded my thanks. I took a deep breath as nobody said anything else and I knew it was a good time to start. Louis gave me a reassuring squeeze and I smiled up at him. It died down knowing that I was going to have to talk about the last four years of my life but I would do it.

"About yesterday, I want to say thank you for..." I lifted my sleeves up with the bandages. The lads didn't say anything but nodded their thanks. "I will talk about it. And I will start with this. It started when I came out when I was 13. I always kinda knew I was gay but I accepted it and told my sister first. At first I thought she accepted me. But later, after I told my parents, I knew the truth. My mum and sister started to neglect me. They clearly didn't accept me. But one person who started my hell was my father. He was worse. He didn't neglect me instead he abused me. Thinking that if I got beat into a bloody pulp, I'd be straight again. I'd be the son he wanted. So that became a routine before and after school when ever I acted gay or whenever I did the slightest thing wrong.

"I don't know how the kids at school found out either. But it became bad too. Soon I was being abused and bullied everywhere I went. I'd get jumped or called harsh names. Thats when I started to get depressed and cut myself. It got so bad my family had to move. The move was ok, it got rid of my father but the neglection never stopped.. A year later my sister went to Uni, we never kept in contact because she didn't want to. Soon my mum started to yell and punish me. Never the way my dad did. She never hit me but she called me harsh names or when I did the simplest bad thing she'd lock me up for days in the basement. At school I had to become somebody different in fear that I wouldn't be accepted. Because my family didn't, all they did was teach me how worthless I was. They didn't care if I was bullied or if I was hurting myself or even if I made it home at night.

"The stress of being pulled into those things and doing things I didn't want to do became a routine too. I became popular, girls threw themselves at me and shit while I sat there practically dying inside because I couldn't be accepted and that I couldn't accept myself all because I would fall for a boy," I sniffed lightly, not even realizing or caring that I had started crying.

"I finally broke. Yesterday it became too much. Flashbacks of when my father threatened to kill me himself. My mind constantly telling me and reminding me of how no one would love somebody like me. I just snapped and had a relapse. So thats that. The last four years of my life. So when I said that you guys kidnapping me, that you guys actually saved me, I was right. Because I knew that if that happened at my house right now I would be dead," I spat out the rest of the words like vemon. I wiped at my face furiously, already tired of crying my eyes out. I pressed the palms of my hands to my eyes to stop the tears.

Four pairs of arms were wrapped around me suddenly as I'm pulled into a group hug. I gladly took the hug and the warmth and relaxed a bit as my tears slowed. I felt a hundred times lighter since letting it all out.

I heard sniffles around me and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Who's crying right now?" My voice was muffled due to the bodies squishing me in their hug but a light teary laugh rippled through all of us. We all pulled away and I took in all of their teary eyes and faces.

"Sorry mate. It's just what you said nobody deserves to go through that," Niall said with bitterness. My heart swelled as the boys nodded their agreement with the same look in their eyes as Niall's. Anger.

"We could kill them if you want," Louis suggested with a playful brightness in his voice. We all fell silent just looking at him for a second before bursting out in laughter.

Our laughter had died and I gave them all grateful smiles.

"Thank you guys really. I really needed to talk about it," they nodded at me and gave me a smile in returned.

I knew then that I could accept myself and be myself now with no harsh words or a lying voice. I knew it would take time to forget the past years but I would do it. Because I had the lads with me and I had Louis.

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A/N: so what did you guys think? Also the story is going to pick up a bit more so just wait! Please vote and comment! :)

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