[WATTYS 2021 SHORTLIST]
After suffering a heartbreak caused by no explanation, DYLAN MILLER does everything she can to forget about HUNTER GRAYSON.
That all changes 18 months later when the two finally meet once again. Except this time is nothing...
this love left a permanent mark. this love is glowing in the dark.
these hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me.
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I hated the selfish thoughts running through my head.
I wish I could scream and force them away.
After hearing the love of my sister's life ask me to help plan her engagement, the first thing I thought of was myself. More specifically, what I didn't have.
The joy across his face as he talked about his ideas and the way he kept checking to see if something was too corny or overdone should have snapped me right back into reality. This wasn't my moment. This was theirs. I couldn't write myself a better ending, so why was I even thinking of myself at a time like this?
Everything felt tight. My head. My chest. Even the room we were in. Suddenly the space felt a lot smaller than it did moments ago.
I wet my dry lips, trying to provide myself with any sense of relief.
"I want to do it while you guys are both here. Is that alright?"
"Of course. Whatever you want." I wiped my sweaty palms against my pant legs. "Would you excuse me for a moment?"
Ethan nodded, thankfully far too overwhelmed with excitement to notice my sudden change in demeanour.
I did my best to avoid meeting Hunter's glance. I could feel his eyes on me the moment the words left my lips. He knew me too well; he knew there was something wrong. What that something wrong was, I didn't know. I couldn't fully piece together what the feeling trapped inside me was. So, I plastered a smile on my face and tried to copy Ethan's look of happiness as I closed my empty sketchbook and got up from the floor.
As I hurried up the stairs and down the hall to the room I was staying in, I didn't know how to make myself feel better - mainly due to not knowing what was wrong in the first place.
This was far more than seeing a ring and realizing Hunter and I would never get that chance.
Marriage wasn't something I was remotely ready for. Not now, and most definitely not in the near future. Or ever.
No - there had to be more to it.
Did I need to laugh? Or scream? Or burst into tears to make myself feel better?
I wasn't sure.
But the sweat that pooled across my burning skin and my chest becoming more constricted with every breath made me realize that a remedy to feel better was a necessity. And I needed to find that solution fast.
How could I find a solution when I barely had a grasp on what my problem was in the first place?
The fact that I was being stupid should have hit me like a tidal wave.
