16. i'm struggling

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𝐀𝐆𝐄 : 14

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 : 1 8 4 9

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : self harm, shouting

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y/n's pov:
I feel so useless, i feel like shit all the time, that i can't do anything and that i have no use on this earth anymore because what difference would it make if i wasn't here?

I've dragged myself out of bed and downstairs to get something to eat, it was the weekend so I've bad a bit of a lie in but i'm still up and downstairs. I pour myself some cereal but as i sit down to eat it, i'm not hungry anymore.

I sigh resting my head on my elbows on the table and stare down into my cereal hoping that they would slowly disappear if i kept staring, the chocolate from them soaking into the milk

"Hey baby" Mom says coming into the kitchen giving me a fright, i look up at her quickly before looking back down. She pours herself some of the cereal i left out and comes to sit beside me

"hi" i mumble back keeping my head down and playing around with my spoon in my bowl. Mom takes a spoonful turning her body around to me, clearly in the mood for a conversation

"What are you up for today, hm" Mom asks playfully giving me a little nudge, i let her do that and sit with a straight face staring down then shrugging my shoulders.

"What's wrong honey" Mom says immediately placing her spoon down and turning her full attention to me, i shake my head telling her that nothing was wrong and let my spoon also drop down.

"Something wrong sweetheart, what is it" Mom asked seriously scooting her chair closer to me, i roll my eyes with a sigh turning away from her because I really wasn't in the mood to talk about how I was feeling right now

"Nothing! Leave me lone or goodness sakes!" I snap pushing my chair out and storming off back upstairs to my bedroom and as soon as my door closes guilt washes over me as mom only tried helping me but I dismissed her and shouted at her. I collapse onto my bed with a sigh and pull the pillow over my face before grabbing my phone

Momma💕

Sorry for shouting at you
just woke up in a bad mood.

It's alright my love.
Wanna take about it?
I'm here for you sweetie.

No. I'm fine, just tired.

Oh okay 🙂,
I love you sweets

I love you xx

After texting mom, the guilt of shouting at her was still jumping around in me and i knew i was gonna have to tell her that i was sorry in person with a kiss and a cuddle.

I dragged myself out of bed five minutes later and made my way downstairs, i heard the tv playing and it wasn't on before when i was downstairs so it must be mom watching the tv so that's where i went.

"Mom?" I ask knocking nervously on the door, her head whips round with a smile on her face still. This woman could honestly go through so much and still have the biggest smile plastered on her face, maybe it was for me.

"Hey baby, are you alright" Mom ask pausing the tv and shifting so she was facing and waving me over, i took small steps over to her and sit next to her on the sofa.

"Mhm, i just wanted to say sorry" I hum and then apologise feeling a small bit better that i've said sorry. Mom chuckled leaning forward, cupping my face in her hands and kissing my forehead

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