Catfish (Minizerk)

Chapter 20

TW FOR THIS CHAPTER, MENTIONS OF SH

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Josh's POV:

Since everything with Simon, I'd been a mess. I'd never been someone to struggle with my mental health, but I was beginning to understand just how torturous it was. My own mind was eating me alive right now.

I couldn't even bring myself to do anything to try and make me feel better because I felt like the worst person on earth. I didn't deserve to feel better.

What made me feel even worse was getting called into the office where the principal and the school counsellor were waiting for me.

"Why am I here..?" I asked nervously.

"Josh, please take a seat." The counsellor, Mrs Harriet, said.

"What's going on?" I bit my lip.

"Some of your teachers have noticed you haven't seemed yourself. You haven't turned in any homework for a while now, and you have been eating in the classrooms rather than with your friends." She said sympathetically.

"It's because I've been studying so hard to get my grades up. I've been getting over 50% on practice papers. I'm just trying really hard to pass. There's no time for anything else." I lied.

"Your grades have improved, yes. But I don't believe studying is the reason for your change in behaviour." She told me, leaning forward. "Another one of your teachers noticed something, your wrist. Josh, self harm is serious, and if you've been cutting yourself, then we need to step in. Even if you don't want to reach out for help, we can see you need it."

"I- I haven't, that's not what- it was an accident." I stumbled over my words, panicking now.

"Josh, please allow the school to support you. Exams are coming up, and if you're struggling with your mental health, I'd hate to see that ruin all your hard work. You said it yourself, that your exam scores have gone up. But something like this is going to take a toll on you, I don't want it to drive a wedge between you and your potential." She said.

"What do I have to do?" I asked quietly.

"You're going to meet with me for weekly counselling sessions. I'm going to risk assess you in our first one, which will be after lunch today. You're over 16, but under 18. I don't have to disclose this to your mother because of your age, but you're still technically a minor. If I deem you a risk to yourself, I have no other choice. Either way, I'd recommend you tell her." She said.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach.