Catfish (Minizerk)

Chapter 23

Josh's POV:

I wasn't feeling any better about what I'd done to Simon. But it had been a few weeks, and I hadn't hurt myself since. What Mrs Harriet had said had really resonated with me.

She wasn't wrong when she said it wasn't making me feel any better about what I'd done wrong. There were better ways to handle this.

Instead, I'd been throwing myself head first into studying. Exams started next week, and I couldn't allow this to ruin every aspect of my life.

It didn't exactly make me feel better, but doing something productive was a hell of a lot better for me than to lay in my room with the lights off, feeling emotionally dead.

I had my last counselling session before exams today. She had told me that she'd be available for emergency appointments if need be, even though our regular slot was overlapping with my exams.

"So, Josh. How's this week been?" She asked.

"They still haven't been coming to school. It's hard not to feel awful over that. But I've been clean for three weeks now." I told her.

"That's fantastic news. I know this situation is still painful for you, but you should be proud of yourself for being able to cut out something unhealthy." She smiled.

"It's hard. The desire to do it is still there, but it feels pointless, so I just haven't." I told her.

"But despite that desire, for three weeks now, you've resisted it. That's a huge victory." She said. "Now, how are you feeling about your exams?"

"Relatively confident, for the first time in my life. I think I'm gonna pass." I said.

"That's wonderful. Focus on the positives right now, okay? Once your exams are out of the way and it's summertime, you can try to make things up with your friends. You'll both be in better places. If there's a chance at sorting things out between you two, that'll be the time to try. Because it'll have also given you both time." She smiled.

"Maybe, I'll see how I feel after it. I just hope they come in for their exams." I said worriedly.