She's an innocent girl who lived with her alcoholic abusive father. Her life was barley manageable, especially when she was separated from her biological family at such a young age.
When her father mysteriously dies from a car crash, she's taken to...
It may seem as though I've moved on from my pass life, but I haven't. I really hate admitting it, but it's true, so true.
Why was it me?
This is all so damn different, why wasn't it always like this?
I'm in a room. A room with gold, diamonds and silver, everything that I'd ever dreamt of since I was a damn kid. I have brothers that seem to care. To care about me.
And that was my wish when I was 10, I lost hope in my 11th birthday. When I was 10, I was praying that someone would be there for me, would care about me.
And now, I've got it, why do I still feel so.. lost? Lost, empty.
I feel like I'm still finding my exit from these haunting nightmares.
The traumatic events I went through when I was 12, I still think about it now.
What went wrong?
If you told 5-year-old me that I'd be like.. this, I would've never believed you.
Because people are so damn good at acting. So damn good.
They tell you they'll always love you, never hurt you.
Then what happens?
They do exactly that, hurt and hate you.
Cause people are too good to be true, and fucking deceivers.
Make you miserable, hate yourself and at one point want to.. end it all?
I had hope, I actually did.
Always trying to engage in conversations with Stefano, being there for him. Pills for when he was hungover. All of that.
But I lost it.
I lost it when I saw shit wasn't going to work, only thing that would was bringing back my mum, 'the love of his life', Mary.
He fell down the wrong road because of how dearly he loved her. It broke him when she died.
But there was always a question lingering in my mind.
Why?
He never loved Mary, at least I don't think he did. He abused her. She was her punching bag.
As a 6-year-old hearing my mother's screams and cries for help most nights, I didn't know what was happening. I neglected it.
Now being a 15-year-old, having experienced it and being more.. mature, I know now.
She'd come limping in with a faded smile on her face, singing a lullaby with her quivering voice. Tears running down her face.
Flashback.
"Mummy, why are you crying?" Azalea asks, frowning at her.
"M-my eye's itchy, look, mummy is very happy, you see?" Mary says, pointing to her fake smile.
"Are you hurt?" Azalea questions, ignoring what Mary just said.
"No.. no, I'm not. I'm just tired, that's why you should sleep so I can too!"
"Okay, goodnight mummy," Azalea says, finally fluttering her eyes shut.
"Night night, darling," Mary whispers, pecking her daughter's forehead before breaking down into silent tears.
Flashback over
We had problems with money, but still yet Stefano always came home with fancy watches, jewelry, cars ect.
I think he was included in some illegal shit too. I mean, where else would he learn to throw those punches?
Mary randomly disappeared sometimes, then would secretly come home at night.
But despite all this, Stefano always showed affection towards her.
Even I saw it, whether it was behind closed doors or in public, they'd always act so in love. Kissing, holding hands and other things an 'average' couple would do.
That's why I'm confused.
Confused as to if they really loved eachother or not.
I'll find out, and I'll avenge me and my mother. I'll make sure of it.
It isn't fucking fair. People my age would be happy, full of joy and obsessing over 'cute' boys they find in school and telling all their friends about it. They'd be smiling 24/7, relaxed cause, when you're 15, what is there really to worry about, right? Well, maybe a few things but besides the point..
But no, not me. I'm not graduating, I'm constantly awake, trying to get rid of these haunting memories, nightmares. I'm not obsessing over 'cute' boys all over socials, no, I'm obsessing over revenge for me and my mother. Not telling any friends cause I don't fucking have any. Not smiling cause what is there to smile about in a traumatized girl's life? Definitely not relaxed cause I'm always alert, making sure no one is out to get me.
I won't be letting me guards down.
Not now, not ever.
I just, want to be normal.
To fit in.
It's all I ever wanted,
To have a loving family, loving parents, safe environment.
It's nothing I'll ever get.
But I wish it were different.
I wish they didn't kidnap me.
I wish they didn't abuse me.
I wish I didn't ask for ice cream, maybe everything would've been different.
Its hard, it really is.
Trying to trust some people again.
Maybe if I was born in a different timeline, different household.
Maybe if I wasn't born at all.
What would've happened?
__________________________________
Double update but this chapter is pretty short.
Kinda a filler about her past again.
I don't write coincidences, only hints. ;)
I'm not good with writing sad moments, so sorry if this is bad, it'll all be edited after the 2 books.
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