you can't help but become the sun / julien baker

chapter thirty-six

Maggie's Pov:
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I drove for thirty-three minutes before returning back to the apartment. The only thing that played in my car was Julien's album, 'Sprained Ankle.' Pulling up to my building, I pass a dark car.

The apartment was quiet, I cried off all my makeup so there was no need to remove any of it. I stripped out of my clothes, leaving me in only my sports bra and underwear.

I plugged in my phone and called Julien. She was laying down on her bed, "Hi, how was the rest of the night?" she sweetly asked.

"Got kicked out after we hung up, it wasn't your fault! I drove around and cried to your first album and now I'm home," I nervously chuckled.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Why the hell would you listen to "Sprained Ankle?' Especially while you're driving! You better have been wearing a seatbelt."

"It's not the first time I've been kicked out and it just came up on my Spotify. I was sad, and I put it on, alright!' A smile appeared on my face, Julien didn't have to try very hard to cheer me up. "And I was wearing my seatbelt, thank you very much."

"Alright, alright! So, I want you to have a restful night and I was trying to figure out a good song to sing to you. I figured out the perfect song," she grabbed her guitar that was propped up against her nightstand.

I placed my phone up against a water bottle, laying down on my side. "I can't wait to hear it, what song is it?"

"You're about to find out," she wiggled her eyebrows at me. Julien took a breath before she started singing 'Paul' by Big Thief. Lord knows how she found out I love that song but her voice fits perfectly with it.

I felt my eyes get heavier and heavier as the song went on until I fell asleep right when it came to an end.

Julien's Pov:
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Once I looked up from my guitar, my girlfriend was asleep. I smiled, admiring her completely relaxed face as I watched her chest rise and fall.

She looked so peaceful, I was glad my plan worked. I sat down my guitar, leaning it back up against the front of my nightstand. I plugged in my phone and set it up so it was facing where I was going to lay down, being mindful of my guitar still.

I wished her family situation was better but I'm grateful that we're adults who can make our own decisions. It would be different if we were teenagers, unable to fully show each other love because we're under our parent's ruling.

I thought back to last month, the image of her body was tattooed inside my mind. Oh, how I would much rather be next to her than in an empty bed.

I guess that's an unfortunate part of long-distance relationships. It doesn't matter how badly you wanna see your partner, facetiming is the best option. I never realized how much I craved physical touch until Magnolia wasn't by my side.

My bed was cold, I covered up with my comforter, it wasn't doing me much right now. When Maggie was here, it was always the right amount of warmth. What happens when I go away to the UK?

What reasons does she have to stay in a relationship with me when I'm so far away all the time? I guess I'm just overthinking again. I've never been happier in a relationship than I am with Maggie, she means everything to me.

I stare at my girlfriend over a screen, hoping she'd finally get a decent night's sleep. I felt myself getting gradually tired, eventually joining her in slumber.

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a/n: This is the only chapter in the whole book that's like this, I was having trouble figuring out how to write this chapter so I wrote a Julien POV.

I'm gonna be very busy tomorrow so here's a chapter a day earlier!

Opinions for what will happen next are closed!

Me writing the most horrifically saddening thing for my next book but trying to stay cool: 🥹

-A