You and Me (Plus Everyone In Between Us)

Take a Chance... Or Two

I hated this feeling. The feeling that your heart was going to leap out of your chest and break dance. It felt constricting. It felt painful.

But it made me feel alive for some odd reason.

The glossy stage was only a few feet away from the waiting area backstage, covered by a few velvet curtains. There were about five other contestants backstage, all more nervous than the next. I gripped a thick microphone in my hand while crew members ran every which way.

There was a camera trained on Halle, making commentary mere feet away from us. There was another trained on capturing our nervous faces. I locked eyes with the ground as much as I could, while muttering vocal warm-ups under my breath.

"Are you nervous?" Mom asked.

"So nervous," I replied in a desperate whisper.

"You are going to feel this every time you sing," Mom explained. "It's not good for you to feel nervous. Maybe singing isn't the right path."

Leave it to Mom to try to make this an "I told you so moment". It seemed like she was trying to spend as little time here as possible with all her side comments. I wondered why.

"Nice try," I joked. "I'm going to sing."

"I'm just a little worried," Mom revealed. "I really don't want them to laugh at you."

"Thanks," I mumbled at the fake concern.

It was so weird how she talked to the camera. She looked so happy, and ecstatic to be here, like she had actually enjoyed my singing.

"Ezra!" a crew member called. I looked up at them. "It's time for you to get on stage."

Oh no.

Oh yes?

I nervously rose, staggering with vertigo and fear pulsing in the air. I sucked in a deep breath. A crew member's mouth began to move in my direction, and I finally realized she was talking to me. I didn't register until...

"Are you excited?" Halle asked, facing me.

She stood there for some awkward seconds, waiting for me to say something with an awkward smile.

"Yeah!" I choked out.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, knowing cameras were on me. "But I'm so nervous."

"Honestly, you just go up there and sing your heart out," Halle advised. "Pretend the audience isn't even there."

"Okay," I nodded.

"Now go out there!" she exclaimed, leading me across the stage.

I walked out, and the audience clapped at my arrival as I pushed an awkward smile onto my face. Step out onto the 'X' in the middle, I reminded myself.

The sheer amount of cameras could've caused a shortage. They were on the ceiling, close to the floor, behind and near the judges, and in the audience.

Fairouz and Brian, despite looking miniature from this angle, sat with a presence that made my chest tight. Their eyes were trained on me, trying to pick me apart.

I took a nervous glance at Mom backstage, who gave a nod with a half-smile. Someone started talking, but I couldn't pinpoint who.

"I said, what's your name?" Fairouz's voice finally registered in my head, her smooth Moroccan accent touching my ears.

I swallowed back a gulp as I came to face her confused face. "Ezra. E-Ezra Thompson."

The audience chuckled at something that was apparently funny. I wanted to collapse out of sheer embarrassment.

"How old are you and where are you from?" she asked.

"I am seventeen and I am from Toronto, Canada," I repeated for the third time today.

"Do you have anyone with you today, Ezra?" Fairouz asked, addressing me by name.

"My Mom," I said, and the audience cheered like they did on command. She even peeked out from backstage and waved.

"What's the dream here, Ezra?" Fairouz said, eyes narrowing on me. "Why are you different?"

"I just want to sing," I explained. "Singing has been a huge part of my life and I can't imagine what my life would be like without singing. I hope I can pursue it through this show."

"Okay," Fairouz said, not even reacting as cheers flew out. "Do you think you can win?"

That was the million-dollar question. If I answered yes, I'd look cocky if I wasn't actually good. But if I said no, then it would seem like I was trying too hard to be humble.

"I hope I can live my dreams out through this show," I answered. "Winning would be an extra cherry on top."

Fairouz nodded in approval as a faint cheer emerged. "Alright. Well, I'm going to stop talking and just let you go."

"Thank you," I replied.

I stood awkwardly in silence for a few seconds before a guy operating a camera gestured a thumbs-up to me.

Some guy in the back gave me a thumbs up, meaning he was going to play the song. I sucked in a breath as my heart pounded.

I could do this.

The music started, and adrenaline surged through me. But then, as the first melodies played in the air, I felt a sinking feeling of dread.

This wasn't my song.