You and Me (Plus Everyone In Between Us)

Twin Shame

The war on the internet waged for my fate. Fairouz made it clear that I was in the competition.

I was staying.

I was also staying inside of my bed. We just ended concert rehearsals and call time for tonight's concert would be in another hour and I would get picked up. Just enough time to dissociate again.

Suddenly someone knocked on my door. I assumed it was a producer to take me out of my zoning out.

But when I rose, it was Emmett?

"How did you get here?" I instantly asked.

"Through the door," he slightly chuckled. "The guards let me in."

Emmett sat on the very edge of the bed. "You took tired."

"What are you going to do here?" I cut in, asking.

"Mom and Dad asked me to check on you," he revealed, locking eyes with the carpet. "You haven't been answering your phone."

"It's hard when half the internet wants your ass to pay for daring to look at Andre," I sighed. "So consider me checked on. You can go now."

"Mom and Dad think you should drop out," Emmett revealed. "This can't be good in the long run. Even if you're staying, no one gonna vote for you when half of those D-1s are watchers."

"I'm not dropping out!" I insisted.

Emmett sighed, putting his hands in front of me. "Listen, I'm not saying that. But just think about how that affects all of us! You got doxxed! They know where I go to school!"

"Everyone knows where you go to school," I muttered. "You're going to Havard with thousands of other students. You'll be fine. Fairouz got security near where they doxxed and I deleted my social media. We should go. Something else just needs to blow this over."

Emmett crossed his hands and pushed up his glasses. From what I knew, he did that once he got confused. "My coaches wanna talk to me about 'circumstances' around my life. They're talking about you."

"So?"

"Well, I don't want you to ruin this for me," Emmett revealed. "I have a scholarship and a chance to play. Mom and Dad don't think that you should ruin this for me."

My eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I've worked hard my entire life for this," he insisted. "You've only been at this music thing for like a month."

"A month?" I yelled. "Are you talking to me? A month?"

"What?" He breathed, stepping back.

"I have loved music my entire life!" I shouted. "If any of you were to even care, it's not just a silly hobby I've picked up. I've been waiting for something like this my entire life, and now you're telling me to quit?

"Do you know the amount of times I have been pushed away to make you shine? As far as I know, Mom and Dad always show up to your games and invest in your activities because they believe in you more. You have always been their first choice. So don't tell me I shouldn't ruin anything for you. You can afford to not have something handed to you."

He shook his head. "That's the problem with you. It's always about music with you. Do you ever realize you shut everyone out?"

"Me?" I laughed, but nothing was funny. "I can't even talk to you anymore. You ignore me! You have all your popular friends! Why wouldn't I shut you out?"

"You never liked them and you've never made an effort to hang out with me!" He shouted quieter this time. "The first week of school, you just stopped hanging out with us. You never seemed like you liked any of us. You and Maria have all the close inside jokes. I don't even feel like your brother."

"You never talk to me!" I spat. "Your friends made me uncomfortable. They acted like I was such a nuisance."

"You never want to talk!" Emmett shot back. "You always seem mad at me, even when I just try to talk to you. I don't understand you and this music thing."

"Music is the only thing I'm good at, and somehow everyone hates that," I seethed. "I have never been anyone's first choice. Not yours. Not Mom or Dad's. Not my own friends. Even Maria likes Dilemma better than me sometimes. This is the first time I've ever felt like a first choice. So no one's gonna take that away from me."

"Ezra–

"I have to go prepare for the concert. I don't care if you show up or not."