You and Me (Plus Everyone In Between Us)

Eyebags and a Dream

While I smiled on the red carpet, I sure hoped it reached my eyes. Between the flashing cameras and the swarm of the intense crowd, I was one less overwhelming moment from dropping dead.

It seemed like everything didn't really care so much about this final or about me in a negative way. All anyone could talk about today was STAN.

As soon as Emmett and I got back and we got a whopping twenty minutes of sleep and a gallon of coffee, we sent all the evidence to Fairouz's legal team and the story broke. The website was taken down and Spencer Chen was revealed. I didn't know if he was going to get arrested.

I didn't care.

Posting for the pre-show red carpet, I was in a baby blue dress, a short brown bob wig, and makeup that felt like a dumbbell on my face. All the other acts posed down the red carpet, and so did the judges.

Andre looked so hit but I couldn't show it. Emmett didn't hack away all night for nothing.

Ray was there.

I still couldn't believe what she did. She sold me out because she decided to dislike me for whatever reason. There was nothing about me to be jealous about.

I rearranged my thoughts and suddenly I realized I was nervous again. Really nervous. My heart was going to fall out of my chest at any moment.

The finals were here. It was my last day of the competition and the first day of a completely new life.

If I won.

Everyone was probably already backstage or sitting in the audience. I couldn't remember. I played the words of the songs, marked the choreography in my head, and obsessively went over everything. I couldn't go wrong.

Everything moved so fast and suddenly I was backstage, being undressed and then dressed into our glittery stage outfits for our first group performance. Suddenly I was on a rising platform with the other contestants.

It felt fun actually. Even if we were competing, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. We all ran across the stage, and I bent down to wave at the fans to interact with the crowd. I even did a little dance for them. We finished in our ending pose before Halle came out in a dress that made her look dripping wet.

"These you are finalists!" Halle announced. "Welcome to the final round of Finding Solstice!"

Everyone cheered again before we were cued again to leave the stage and go change again. I was second after Alex, so I went into the backstage area and everyone changed my clothes into my white dress and boots, and looped my mic pack in the bag.

I was now in my stage outfit, and I stood in the back area with my backup dancers, waiting for Alex to finish his explosive rap song. It's amazing. He's an amazing lyricist.

Once he was finished, I was ushered onto the stage again in my position, with my backup dancers standing behind me. They played my final interview video, showing me at my concert, doing shenanigans for the weeks, and doing interviews.

"Track 'Pretty Like'. Artist in position," my in-ears instructed. "Intro 2...3...4!"

I lost myself in the music, as I began to sing my original song to the audience for the first time. The routine seemed to get easier as I went, even though I still had to consciously think about most of it. I run around the stage, looking at the audience and giving sneaky glances to the camera.

A backup dancer took my mic for the dance break, and I did my rhythmic moves more energetically than the last. I hope my energy supplemented the lack of rhythm again. I took my microphone again and yelled off into the high note that rolled out of my mouth crisply.