You and Me (Plus Everyone In Between Us)

Finding Nothing

I found out about this meeting for the rare two seconds I turned my phone on. Suddenly, walking down this hallway felt scarier because I actually was in grave danger.

The internet had turned into a battle of #EZRAOUT and #WELOVEEZRA in a mix of who supported me. I think I actually lost years of my life just from seeing the hate comments. Not to mention all the threats.

The D-1s were organized, and they all struck at once. I've never seen a fandom unite this hard to be so mad.

They found my house. The hospital where my Mom worked. My Dad's business and Maria's middle school. Fairouz assured me in the email she sent that security would be sent to all the locations.

I deleted all of my social media so I couldn't even see it if I wanted. My phone had been powered off since yesterday. I think it destroyed itself just by the sheer amount of notifications.

STAN posted all the photos, non-grainy and clear, of us at the concert, the studio, the theatre, and on our special secret birthday date.

Since Ray told us about the scandal, I've just pretended there is no scandal. I'm fine. I'm totally not bothered by people saying that I should get kicked out of the finals or I should go to hell because I interacted with Andre.

Gosh, why was everyone talking about me? People all over the world were facing injustice and the one thing they were concerned about was dating. Andre wasn't even my boyfriend, for Heaven's sake.

I ignored calls from just about everyone I had a tangible relationship with and withered away in my bed, detaching from reality so much that five hours passed and I had almost grown roots into my bed.

I missed rehearsal. I probably was gonna get kicked out, anyway. Not only did I tank my own career, but I probably ruined the whole show honestly. I couldn't afford to face anyone.

I was too overwhelmed to cry, so I'd become emotionally lethargic.

But I finally got up from my bed, showered, made myself look like I hadn't just been rotting away in my bed, and stood in front of the massive boardroom in the studio. I'd already accepted it. I would go back to Toronto, and beg Priya to rehire me, even though it was bad for business to have a so-called home-wrecker to millions of delusional people work at your store.

Mom was right. I screwed it all over.

When I stood in front of the boardroom, away from rehearsals, I was pretty sure it was over for me. Finding Solstice was over. I was finding nothing.

I knocked on the door, and some assistant opened it for me. All three of the Finding Solstice judges, plus some other people in important suits holding briefcases, all faced me. I exhaled.

"I'm glad you could join us," Fairouz finally said. "Please take a seat. There's a lot to discuss."

I sat across from all three of them, feeling unbalanced. They held my future. I held nothing. I began to speak, but Fairouz shushed me.

"Let me set the record straight," she began. "There's nothing wrong with you and this entanglement you and Andre have found yourselves in. But, the problem is the context.

"I've had people saying that you unfairly influenced Andre," she continued. "That you did certain things with him, in order for him to choose you for the 'Sing For Your Life Challenge'. People are calling for you to be removed from the competition."

I wanted to sink into a hole in the earth. I held back tears.

"I'm not looking for an explanation," Fairouz said. "I can't control your personal life. But I can do damage control. We plan to send a cease and desist to everyone making threats and those who've doxxed you."

"Whatever you do, don't remove her," Andre stepped in. "I chose her because she was the best singer!"

"Try explaining that to the people who think otherwise!" Fairouz cut back. "The easiest thing would be to remove her, but people aren't going to be happy about it."

"I can afford to take a hit," Andre argued. "But Ezra's career has barely started. I can do damage control."

"Ezra is still popular," Brian stepped in. "She has more supporters than fans, even if they aren't very loud right now. We need to keep Ezra in. She's one of our most popular contestants. We remove her, we remove the viewers."

It was so strange seeing them argue over my fate like this. But I appreciated Brian fighting for me.

"I have a plan," Fairouz said, turning to Andre. "Your publicists are going to make a statement for you to say, Andre. Ezra will stay, but under no circumstances will you be talking to each other publicly. I don't care if you talk online, but Andre will tell the world you two have broken up. I have a plan of diffusing this situation, but that's confidential to you, Ezra."

"Thank you," I croaked. "This means a lot!"

"No problem," Fairouz replied. "All you have to do is ignore Andre and continue life as normal. Are you off social media?"

"Deleted it," I said quickly.

"Good," Fairouz agreed. "Don't talk to anyone who asked you about this."

"Okay," I replied.

I got up from my chair, and in that moment Andre mouthed 'sorry' to me. I turned away, trying not to acknowledge the tears forming in my eyes.