You and Me (Plus Everyone In Between Us)

My Eyes Are Open, Yet I Still Cannot See You

I waited on the stage again, as my heart fought for its life, beating so fast I didn't even feel it anymore. My mind had been devoid of any feeling, any consciousness, except for the elimination. I stood on stage, in between Kristen and Insomnia, as Halle introduced us on the next episode again. They played the highlights from last night, and then the judges gave their generic feedback and wished us all good luck.

"First to the stage," Halle announced. "5Ever and Insomnia."

They both walk up to the stage, basking in the cheers.

"The act that will not be returning is," Halle announced. "5Ever."

I clapped for them, but I didn't particularly care.

One.

The next two acts that went up were Lina and A.C. Both of them made it.

Three.

Nebula and Kristen went up together. Nebula made it. I clapped harder for them because I knew them.

Four.

Winona and a band named Kia both went up. Winona triumphed in this particular case.

Five.

Marco and a boy named Freddie go up. Marco won over him.

Six.

"Ezra," Halle announced. "And Ray."

I almost didn't hear my name until I did. I walked up to the front area, clenching my fists so hard that they dug crescent moons into my hands. I tried not to look absolutely terrified as Halle told us one of us would not be returning.

I briefly looked at Ray and she looked smug, like she already knew she was going to win. Ray was the most popular person here. But I could also make it if two people got to go through.

"The act that will be moving forward," Halle announced. "Is Ray!"

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

This couldn't just be it. This couldn't be it.

Suddenly I was backstage and Grace and Janelle were both hugging me tightly I barely even saw them because my eyes had glazed over with tears, sending fat salty tears down my face. It felt as if I had just been punched in the stomach. Then punched in the face. How did this happen?

Why was I surprised?

I knew I wasn't going to make it. I had the worst performance of the night.

"Don't worry," Janelle whispered. "There's still a chance for the sing-off. You can do this. People love you."

"Yeah," Grace agreed.

I could do this. I could sing. I kept affirming myself as I sat down on the backstage couches.

Halle made the announcement as soon as the commercial breaks ended. I stopped my knee from bouncing as hard as it could. Janelle and Grace both clutched onto my hands

"And the first act that will be going into the "Sing For Your Life" challenge will be," Halle started. "5Ever!"

The girls next to me all stood up and hugged each other sporadically. I clapped for them as they were ushered onstage by one of the producers, microphones in hand.

"And the second act that will be going into the "Sing For Your Life" challenge will be," Halle introduced. "Ezra Thompson!"

Relief flooded through me. Grace and Janelle both piled me into a hug, as tears stung my eyes. The producer ushered me to the stage where I faced off against 5Ever. The audience cheered for me as I went on.