You Are Mine: You Are My Everything

Chapter 21: Release

~Emery's POV~

When I finish the chapter in my book, I turn off my Kindle and set it on the bed. I turn my gaze to Colin, he is sitting at the desk again, working. He called late last night to tell Winter that neither of us where coming into the office today, he barely had a conversation about it with me. He barely had a conversation with me about what happened at the diner either. 

I don't know what to say, I don't even know what to think. My father is a drug dealer, he is the leader of the Forsaken Brotherhood. What does one do with information like that? He wants to take me and make me marry one of his men, and produce a grandson, and then what will become of me? I will slip into the background and get forgotten about. I will live in a family filled with unlawful activity and pain. I can't imagine having a son and watching him be taught how to be the leader of some gang. Taught that morels are there for the weak.

I will not go with him, I can't. What would he do if he learned that I was already pregnant? Pregnant with Colin's baby? But even if I get sick at the idea of what he is doing, at the idea of my father being the leader of some drug gang, I can't help but still be curious about him. I still sort of wish I could have gone to lunch. Just to answer some unanswered questions.

But seeing Colin after makes me thankful I wasn't there. I know if I had been all of it would have been escalated for him. It would have stressed him out more and made him struggle more. I can tell he is struggling right now, I can tell that all of this is drudging up memories of his childhood. Memories of his father manipulating and hurting his sister. I want to know how to help him. How can I elevate the stress he is feeling?

He keeps saying he is not in the mood for sex, it's the only thing I can think of. He didn't pay attention to the hockey game I put on last night, he doesn't watch TV. Reese brought him a bottle of scotch but he has barely touched it. What about giving him something more? You know what will help him. I grimace inwardly at that idea, I almost flinch really. Yes, letting him let loose would probably help. If I let him tie me up and smack me or something I bet it would help, but I just am so scared. I am scared of being hurt like he hurt me before. But you are not in the Dungeon, he can't. He doesn't even have the tools. Although something tells me if Colin really wanted to do the same thing he did down in that Dungeon, he would figure out a way to even without the equipment.

I place my Kindle down on the side table and get to my feet.

Colin glances up at me "are you ready for lunch?" he asks.

I can't help but smile warmly, even with his stress higher than I have ever seen it he still puts me first. Making sure I eat and sleep. Making sure he is standing beside me and holding my hair back when I get morning sickness.

"No, I'm still full from breakfast," I say walking over to him I lean a little against the desk looking at him.

He holds my gaze raising a brow.

"Tell me something I can do to help you destress," I say touching my hand against his cheek.

He sighs a little,  he takes my hand and kisses my knuckles before he shrugs "I'm fine, babe. Don't worry about me."

"I am worried, you are so good at pushing off what you need for those you care about. I know you would push away everything to make sure I am alright, but we are a team, Colin. I can try and help calm your fears and stress. I probably won't be as good as you are helping calm me but I can try."

Colin slowly shakes his head turning his gaze back to his laptop.

"Come on Colin," I say touching my hand to his hair-covered cheek, I brush my thumb over his full lips. "Let me help you. Tell me what I can do."