Save You Tonight

24.

~July 16, 2016~

Getting back to work will be a good thing, it will help keep me for staying in bed all day and will get me moving. Plus I missed Caroline and Harry and Gemma have taken enough time out of their busy lives to help take care of her. They haven't complained, they would never do that, but even though i have been kind of out of it lately, I still noticed the worry that seemed to be permanently etched on their face. It was hard taking care of someone, especially one in Caroline's position. It was even harder when it was a family member.

"Thank you again Anne for being so kind and understanding with everything." Anne and I were doing our normal morning report on how things went over night. I've probably thanked her a hundred times and every time she brushed it off like it was nothing.

"Of course Maci, you are practically part of the family now.  I'm just glad you're alright and away from...all that." She leans in and hugs me, pulling back slightly, her hands holding my upper arms. "You're hair looks great by the way!"

I chuckle, "thanks! It's definitely a lot easier to manage now." The time it took to do my hair has been cut in half, giving me a lot more time in the morning. More time for me to sleep.

"I bet. Well I should be off. Work awaits! Harry is still sleeping, so he probably won't bother you for another couple hours," Anne tells me, and we both start laughing. I tell her good bye and she leaves, leaving me standing in the kitchen.

It was weird being up so early after spending my morning curled up under my covers either listening to music or watching reruns of Friends.  It was nice though, I needed to get out of that funk. Last night when Lou cut my hair, I made a promise with myself that I wasn't going to sulk anymore , I was going to go on with my life and try and get over Kaleb and everything that he has done.

I keep busy by making some tea and getting breakfast ready for Caroline. I make a simple cheese omelet, toast and some fruit. Once I was finished, I carefully make my way upstairs to Caroline's room, balancing the tray on one hand so I could knock softly on the door.  I walk in, noticing Caroline up and wandering around her bedroom, her oxygen off.  I set the tray down on her dresser before making my way over to her. 

"Good morning, Caroline," i keep  my voice quiet so I don't jump her.  I find her discarded oxygen cannula on the floor by her bed. "We need to put your oxygen back on."

"That silly thing gets in the way and I don't really need it." Caroline walks over to her window and looks out towards the back yard.

"I know it's silly, but you really do need it. It's making it easier for you to breath," I explain to her, walking over to her by the window.

"I can breath just fine," she counters, wandering over to her closet. I follow her, listening to her wheeze the entire time.

"You may be able to breath fine right now but in a few minutes you will get short of breath and may feel light headed. It might be a good idea to put it back on before we get to that point. Don't you think?" I watch her go through some clothes in her closet, her movements slow and sluggish.

"I do feel a little light headed," she admits, reaching up to touch her forehead.  I gently rest my hand on her back, turning her around and guiding her to the recliner in front of her bedroom window.

"Let's sit here and put your oxygen on and rest for a little bit.  I made you some breakfast, so we can eat while you rest." She nods, letting me slip on her nose cannula. I slide her breakfast over and she begins to eat. I sat down next to her and we sit silently, which isn't like Caroline at all.  She's usually pretty chatty and loves to talk. It just shows how much her disease has progressed, it's already changing who she is.