Save You Tonight

50.

What is it with me and my nerves? One would think this was mine and Harry's first date. My heart was about to burst out of my chest and I couldn't sit still. I kept wringing my hands as I paced back and forth, not stopping even when Gemma warned me that I was going to wear a hole in the floor. I just couldn't help it though, things were in this awkward stage now, I wasn't sure exactly how to act. I wasn't going to be able to just jump back into how we were before everything happened. We need to work on building trust and setting a good foundation for our relationship. This is my heart and I need to protect it.

Harry and I talked a lot last night, staying up quite late. We had tea and sat at the breakfast nook at the main house, the light above the table the only light on, casting an almost romantic lighting around us. We had a very intense, deep conversation about how I was feeling, how he was feeling, what we both wanted out of this relationship. Harry was quite understanding on why I wanted to take things slow and not rush back into this. He listened intently as I told him all my fears and insecurities, which he told me I had nothing to fear, that he won't ever hurt me again. I believe him. I felt his hurt as he told me how sorry he was for doing what he did and hurting me like that. I saw the pain in his eyes. I hope it doesn't come to bite me in the ass later on, but I believe him.

"You know, there's no reason to be nervous. And if you wear a mark on the floor, you owe me a rug," Gemma teases from where she sits at the kitchen counter. She got home early today to spend some time with Caroline, who wasn't doing much better.

"Am I stupid for doing this? For forgiving him like this? What if it happens again and he hurts me?" I ask as I anxiously continue to pace back and forth beside her, my heels clicking loudly against the hardwood floor.

"I don't think you're stupid. I don't exactly agree with what my brother did, but I do know Harry, and I know what he did to you is not his usually behavior. He must have been pretty messed up to disrespect you and hurt you like he did. I also know how horrible he has felt since that night, and how sorry he has been. I can't tell you what to do, only you know what's best for you. All I can tell you is do what makes you happy," Gemma tells me, her words sinking in.

"I just don't want to feel like second best, you know?" I slow down a little but still keep pacing back and forth.

"Harry will never make you feel like you are his second option. I've seen him with girls he's dated and the attention he gives them is almost sickening but super sweet. There was something out of whack with him that night at the club, otherwise he wouldn't have don't what he did. Don't doubt anything Maci, just let it happen." Gemma says, standing up and walking in front of me, halting my pacing. She places her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, "my brother adores you. I can see in in the way he looks at you."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, taking a second to process what Gemma said and to calm my nerves. "You really think so?"

"I know so. Now stop being so nervous," she chuckles, "you look gorgeous by the way!" She steps back and tells me to spin around. I roll my eyes but oblige. My dress wasn't a thing special, just a mid thigh black dress with a cute belt and some gold buttons around the collar. Harry told me the restaurant we were going to required me to wear something semi formal.