Save You Tonight

40.

As I laid sprawled out on Harry's giant couch/bed, I paid little attention to the movie that I had playing. After my shower I decided to watch a movie and get my mind to focus on something else beside the photo of Harry and Kendall. How they looked to be at the same mall Harry and I were at the other day. So as The Breakfast Club played, I kept reminding myself not to jump to conclusions. Which was pretty hard, let me tell you. Especially when you already felt so low about yourself that you can't seem to find a reason why he wouldn't turn to someone else.

I'm so pathetic, sitting here trying to convince myself that this really was to good to be true. That Harry is too good for me, that we don't belong together. That he doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't give him every part of themselves, who is too broken and damaged to ever be someone they could love. I'm so stupid to think that I could ever become the person I was before Kaleb. He has damaged me beyond repair and I don't think I'll ever get back the confidence he stole from me.

"There you are, I was looking all over for you," Harry's voice jumps me and I look over and see his smiling face. He walks over to me, a large shopping bag in his hands. He sets the bag on the floor before flopping down on the couch next to me. He automatically wraps myself around me and buries his head into the crook of my neck. Instinctively I wrap my arms around him and breath in his comforting scent, kind of confused that he would act this way if there was something going on between him and Kendall.

"How was your day?" I ask, my voice sounding a little hoarse from not speaking all day and from the nerves that coursed through my body.

"Great," Harry mumbled into my neck before pulling back and leaning up on his elbow so he could look at me better, "it was great seeing Ben, haven't seen him in awhile so it was nice to catch up. I think I have the song I was having trouble with finally worked out so that's great news. And....I even stopped and got you something," he says excitedly. I don't fail to notice that he never mentioned Kendall.

He sits up and reaches for the shopping bag he placed on the floor earlier and sets in in front of me. I sit up a little more, crossing my legs under me. I take the bag, a name of some expensive store that Harry and I walked through the other day written on the front. I look up at Harry and he smiles, nodding his head, urging me to open it. 

I let out a small gasp as I open the bag, seeing what's inside.  The other day I noticed this dress that I fell in love with. It had a white flowy kind of top that had two thin straps on both shoulders, it had a think belt and a funky patterned bottom.  It wasn't something I usually wore, but I loved it.  The price on the other hand, I didn't love. That same dress now sat in the bag before me, along with a pair of beautiful black heels.  I can't believe Harry got me that dress. Or that he even noticed me looking at the dress. 

Automatically my mind jumps to the conclusion that he only got me this dress because he felt guilty for lying to me and spending the day with Kendall. Kaleb always bought me something to ease his guilt. Harry could be doing the same. 

"What do you think?" Harry asks as I pull the dress from the bag.

"Why? This is too much Harry. You didn't have to get this for me." I protest, hating how Harry's face fell as I spoke. 

"Why would I get you something? Because I wanted to. I saw you looking at it yesterday and thought I would do something nice for my girlfriend and get it for you. You will look beautiful in it." Harry sounds sincere, but his words just don't process like they should.  I should believe him and know he was just doing something nice for me, but I can't help but go back to thinking it was just out of guilt. 

"You didn't need to do this Harry," I tell him once more, placing the dress back in the bag. I frown down at the bag, to many negative thoughts running through my head to even try and process any of them.