tiring smile | v - viii

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・・・ v ・・・

His footsteps were light and quiet as he walked towards the doorway.

Beyond it, he knew Rie would be there again.

He wanted to hide.

He wanted to run away.

Ring.

He paused before the door.

Slowly, he raised his hand before the handle and hesitated.

He breathed out.

It's okay. It's okay.

Everything is still okay.

He could see his fingers slightly shake as he unlocked it.

As the door opened, the same two words repeated in his head.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's oka—

"—Ah."


・・・ vi ・・・



The same black hair.

The same brown eyes.

The same green scarf.


From the other side, Rie blinked in surprise.

For a few moments they just looked at each other.

He could feel the dread swallowing him again. He could see the ocean suffocating him as he stood there.



After what he told her,
he wondered what she was going to say to him.



Then, a small, tentative smile appeared on her face.

Hashimoto Rie nodded in greeting.

"... Good morning, Ao-kun."



・・・ vii ・・・



She didn't say anything about what happened before as she entered his apartment.

"I'm relieved to see that you're okay. Leo was so worried, I thought he might have a nervous breakdown," she joked quietly as they reached the kitchen.

Leo looked at her and shook his head.

Instead of answering, he simply made a hollow laugh.

Ao sat down.

Rie settled in front of him.

Again, she smiled at Ao.

Like Leo, she was pretending that nothing had happened.



He blinked.



Oh.

So that's it.


・・・ viii ・・・


Everything was all a mistake.

This scene, after all, was just something that could easily disappear at any moment.

This kind of thing could never last.

For him, nothing ever did.

He knew it was only a matter of time before one of them decided to leave him again.

From the beginning, he never should have allowed this to happen.

He never should have let them near him.

He never should have hoped for something different.



He should never have tried to change.






"Ah.
In the end, we didn't learn anything from our mistakes, did we?"

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