re:Happiness | Cell Phone Novel

tiring smile | ix - xii

・・・ ix ・・・

Nothing seems real anymore, even reality.

He had decided to give up on trying to figure out whether what he was seeing was false or not.

"Either way, it's not like we can make it disappear, right?"

That's right.

What he needed to do, he decided,
was to go back to being the old him.

Back when Leo had not returned.

Back when Rie had not arrived.

Back when his world was still dyed in its monochrome hue.

Yes, it was dull.
Boring.
Lonely.

But it had given him ease.

"Even if it was painful,
it had been better that way.

For us.
For others.

That way, we couldn't hurt anyone anymore."

・・・ x ・・・

He finally realized it. What he needed to do.

In order to go back, he needed to sever his ties with them.

It was so easy.

All he needed was to open his mouth and say some ugly, spiteful words.

—Leave me alone.
—Don't come back.
—Stay away.
—I don't need you.
—You are a bother.

He had said it a lot before.

He could do it again.

As he sat there in the kitchen and looked at both of them,
he thought about how easy it was to destroy something that took so long to create.

・・・ xi ・・・

Slowly, hesitantly, he parted his mouth.

His heartbeat thumped uneasily.

There was a dull throb in his deaf ear.

A lump formed in his throat.

I need to say it. I need to say it. I need to say it.

"—Ao-kun, is something wrong?"

He blinked.

In front of him, Rie's worried face surfaced.

As always, he was startled at how concerned she looked.

Unlike the masked expressions he had seen on other people's faces, Rie's seemed genuine. Real.

So was Leo's.

"... And that's why we're scared, aren't we?"

Ah.

—I need to say it. I need to say it. I need to say it.

Before I make another mistake.
Before I ruin everything again.
Before I hurt them any more.

I

need

to

say

it.

・・・ xii ・・・

In the end, he couldn't.